When My Love Life Turned My Life Upside Down
Let me take you back to 2012. The year my whole entire life changed. The year that (I think) actually catapulted me into the life I have now: full of self love, happiness, and joy. You see, before I became the What is Perfection Girl and developed all my online self improvement courses, I actually had a pretty messed up story to tell.
So here’s just a little part of it. Me: 2012.
My bank account was empty, and so was my heart. I was about to walk away from my 5 year relationship. Actually.. I was really walking away. Literally. Well.. more like running.
And all of my belongings were jam packed into a the back seat of my ’95 Honda Civic. I was done. Officially.
I decided it was time to leave my relationship because I was so sick of being hurt. It had been years of me trying to make it work and I guess I reached my breaking point. I don’t know what that “point” was specifically, but I definitely knew I was broken. And so “over” the being lied to and the secrets. There were so many secrets.
Having your life physically fall apart in just a matter of months isn’t the worst part: It’s believing that you will never be able to put it back together again. My life was a big Humpty Dumpty Disaster, and I had no idea how to fix it.
In case you’ve never been in a story book like this one, let me tell you what happens next:
You feel hopeless. You start believing you will never be happy again. You form this idea that you are a miserable person who will always be miserable. You feel angry and resentful for the pain you are carrying. And you fall into a scary pitiful version of yourself you didn’t know existed.
You feel stuck, heartbroken, and angry. “I never asked for this.” or ‘Why me?” are very common mantras.
Ever been there? You know what I’m talking about.
And while other people may not feel like the world has ended, you sure as hell do.
The truth is, as painful as those moments are, having your world turn upside down can be the best thing that ever happened to you.
You just need to let it.
Rebuilding and starting over.
Trying to put the pieces of my life back together was really scary. When you live for so long depending on your “other half” for things like happiness, love, and confidence, you kind of forget how to do those things for yourself. And trying learn how to do those things again for the first time is really hard.
But I promise you – now matter how hard it is, rebuilding your life and being able to look back on what you once had will make you feel so grateful for that experience. Because once you heal your heart, you will see just how wrong that past life was for you.
When My Life Turned Upside Down, It Changed for the Better.
Before my “Perfect Life” shattered in front of my eyes, I was living with rose colored glasses on. I didn’t see it then, but looking back six years later, I can see how truly unhappy I was. I was successful, happy, and loved by everyone else’s standards but my own. I wasn’t “truly fulfilled by my life” but I didn’t realize until it was taken from me.
To everyone else, my life was “perfect.” At least that’s what people told me. I had a “successful” career as a television news producer. At least that’s what other people said. I was a married young twenty-something who lived a loving happy wonderful life. At least that’s what other people saw.
When my marriage ended I was able to take off the rose colored glasses and see my life for what it really was: Something that caused me more unhappiness than joy. I had a life that I was “trying to make work,” rather than a life I truly wanted.
My life was never perfect because it wasn’t the life I wanted it to be.
I was never actually successful because I wasn’t pursuing my passion.
I didn’t feel wonderful or full of love because those qualities were only based on other people’s standards.
Picking up the pieces of my life and rebuilding myself became almost like a big art collage project. I was able to remove all the clutter, the garbage, the unnecessary and the negative; I started filling my life with all the things I truly wanted there. I recreated my life.
Looking back, six years later, I realize that I didn’t just leave a broken marriage: I left a broken life. And having the chance to rebuild it was the best most wonderful opportunity I ever had. It was a chance at a fresh start and new beginning: To makes something of myself that I truly wanted.
And it’s a chance that – if you’re struggling in an unhealthy unhappy relationship (or trying to heal your heart from one) you deserve to have too.
Sometimes you need a little help (heads up all my life transformation tips are in my online courses)
But there’s a deep lesson you need to learn here: Painful experiences can be a blessing in disguise. You may not ask for painful experiences, you may not expect them, and you may even curse the world for letting bad things happen to you: But years later, you can look back smile, and chant a new mantra:
“Everything Happens for A Reason.”
What happened when I finally moved forward?
I healed my heart in a way that I didn’t even know it needed to heal! I thought that my relationship was the only thing damaged, but when that ended, I realized that my self love needed a ton of TLC too. Had I not had that rock bottom experience, I would have never faced the truth about myself – I was picking low-worth relationships because I had a low-worth placed on myself. I didn’t think I was deserving of the good stuff. I was constantly trying to please other people, so all I did was find “takers” to fill my life with. People who would take advantage of me.
By walking away from that relationship, I was able to drastically transform every area of my life. And I’ve never been happier.
Don’t worry… one day. That will be you too.
What You Need To Remember When Things Are Tough:
This is a learning moment – that if you let it – can make you stronger.
Everything – even the shitty stuff – happens for a reason.
Life is never perfect. And sometimes when things go drastically wrong, it just means there is a big drastic transformation waiting to happen.
Heads up. If you’re relating to this story here, hurting and down on your luck. I’d suggest you check out: