Secret time: I am building a self-improvement manifesto. Yes…I know… crazy me. As if I don’t have enough to do already. I have such a big to-do list right no for WIP- running the Facebook group, launching the youtube channel and the podcast (See 1 | 2| 3 | If you’re interested.) Not to mention the Brand New me Course goes live in five days! But yes.. I am gathering all the best most strongest self improvement tips and putting them into a book.
Let me tell you, it’s going to be a really really big resource by the time I am done. And I am so excited that I’ve been taking the time to really get clear about these strategies and self improvement tools I use in my coaching practice. It is helping me feel inspired and motivated to keep serving all you awesome ladies out there! Plus, it’s letting me perfect my expertise, allows me to be a better life coach and do what I love doing the best to my ability!
I have too many tricks up my sleeve that sometimes I get bogged down trying to figure out what to share on a regular basis. There are so many life experiences that have shaped the lessons I share with my clients – and I am constantly learning more each and every day.
So in breaking it down for my own research, I decided it was time to share the five most vital powerful lessons that drastically shaped my life.
These were the biggest game changing mindsets that transformed my happiness and my confidence, how I live, how I feel, and the person I am.
Ready for me to share? AHH YAY! GOOD! Because that’s what this post is all about!
The 5 Most Valuable Life Lessons for Happiness
-Putting yourself first is not selfish. It’s sanity.
A lot of women have this belief that they need to continuously be something for other people before they can be something for themselves. I’m including myself when I talk about this type of thinking. See, I grew up with a very loving and selfless mother. To this day she is constantly putting others before herself. She is an amazing wonderful nurturing woman, and I love her to death – but her way of living was not something that came natural to me. It felt like I was suffering when I lived life constant trying to put myself and my needs on the back burner. Adapting this mindset didn’t bring me any joy in my life growing up, but for a long time, I felt like this was something I needed to “make work” in my life. I needed to put other people before me. I needed to try to make the best decisions for other people – because after all, that is what my learned behavior was in life!
Making decisions based on other people’s needs is wrong. And putting yourself first, while some may call it selfish, is actually the best most powerful thing you can do for your happiness. If I’m too tired to go to a party, I won’t go. If I need a vacation day, I call out sick. If I feel like I need a break form the chores and household responsibilities, I am open and honest with my partner about needing a time out. The truth is, you cannot be your best for other people, if you are not the best for yourself first.
It took me a long time, but now when I make decisions, I 100 percent make them based on how they make ME feel… not how I think they will make others feel. It’s my life. And if you’re reading this – it’s your life ….do don’t let someone else dictate it.
-What you resist continues to persist.
Constantly thinking about avoiding money troubles only brings more money troubles. Feeling like you don’t want to live a life of scarcity only makes you feel more empty. Continuously trying to avoid looking at the scale when you struggle with your weight and body image only makes you feel more disconnected and stuck in your unhealthy lifestyle. If you want to fix something, you need to face it. You need to analyze it. You need to see the truth for what it really is and then take massive action to change it.
Whether it is your unhealthy relationship, your unhealthy eating habits, or your awkward relationship with money – if you want to make something better – you need to look it in the face for the big scary monster it is and DO something about it.
-The best thing you can do for yourself is invest in your future.
I’m not talking about going back to school. And no, I am not talking about buying that new sexy car that lets you get from point a to point b with confidence. I am talking about PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT. It is the greatest most powerful tool that to this day is still at the top of my tool box. Growing and bettering myself is my number one priority in life, and if you are trying to live a happier more fulfilling future – then you got to up your rank on where you value that in your own life.
I see so many women unhappy and stuck in their lives – frustrated by their unhealthy relationships, their lack of self confidence, or their inability to feel financially abundant…. Why do they feel this way? Well because they are stuck. And they need help letting go of their limiting beliefs… much like I needed to way back when before I became a life coach. But the only way to do that is by investing in your worth.
I’ve maxed out credit cards to pay for self improvement seminars… I have spent my last hard earned dollar on crazy Barnes and Noble self help book binges… I have even withdrawn money from my 401k to invest in making my life better. Do I regret any of those purchase? HELL TO THE NO. They were actually the best decisions I made for my life. Sometimes adding to your debt (if it’s to make you a better more amazing person) drastically changes your financial situation in the long run *yes.. for the better.*
-Take risks. Take risks. Take risks. (Do you hear me?)
I have never in my life taken a risk that didn’t scare me. That’s why we use that big scary R word to call it what it is: A super scary chance on something that we have no idea what the outcome will be. Financial risks, relationship risks, moving risks, career risks, they are THE BEST MOST WONDERFUL opportunities from the universe if you take them.
When your gut is telling you to do something different – it is because you are probably settling for less than you deserve. And in order to get out of that life, you need to take what my friend Jen calls “big messy scary action.” Seriously… take it. Do it. A leap of faith is the most beautiful thing in the world because that’s when the real you come out.
-An unfulfilling life is not worth living.
I’ll leave it at that. Don’t kill yourself… just go fucking do something about it.
You deserve THE BEST.