Be Beautiful & Feel Beautiful [Free Worksheet!]

Be Beautiful & Feel Beautiful [Free Worksheet!]

How to feel beautiful when you feel terrible about yourself? Simple. Start thinking differently. Sounds too good too be true huh? Well it isn’t.

Did your mother ever tell you how beautiful you are? Mine told me all the time — boys sometimes did too. But I never believed it. I didn’t look like all the other girls, and I felt like I was different from everyone. Growing up I believed that being beautiful looked a certain way: It was long hair, big boobs, beautiful makeup and long eyelashes. It was a toned body, a flat tummy and a gorgeous smile.

For a while, I thought I had to change how I looked in order to feel beautiful. Then I grew up. And I realized something very important: Becoming a beautiful person is a magical process that starts from within.

You don’t have to change how you look in order to be beautiful. You need to change how you FEEL.

Because you already are beautiful. And if you don’t know it yet, I am here to give you the secret tips for learning how to believe in your gorgeous self.

How to Feel Beautiful What is Perfection

Our False Perception of Beauty

For some reason people believe that you can’t feel beautiful until you have the perfect look — until you are the skinniest, the prettiest, the most successful person you can possibly be.  The truth is we have a backwards approach and perspective to attaining beauty. Feeling beautiful is a “feeling” after all… so wouldn’t it make more sense to define that feeling based on emotion and not physical characteristics?

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So how do we change that?

How do we start redefining our beautiful and actually start feeling beautiful?

It’s simple. Just follow these steps for learning how to feel beautiful and start thinking differently about your gorgeous self.

How to Feel Beautiful What is Perfection

cutehearttealwipMake your “beautiful roadmap.”

This is something I tell all my clients to do. For some reason, many of us have this complicated roadmap for what we believe we need to achieve in order to feel beautiful. We stop defining beauty by emotional traits, and instead, start thinking strictly in the physical form. In order to change that and learn how to feel beautiful and fulfilled by your looks, your first step is to map out all things you believe you need to achieve right now in order to feel gorgeous. When you have your list, you’ll see how crazy complicated it is (I’m betting because most of my clients lists are complicated.) What do you believe is the key to feeling beautiful? Is it long legs, clear skin and a gorgeous slim body? Get clear about all the important physical factors you believe make a beautiful person.

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Recognize how you formed those beliefs.

Once you recognize exactly what you believe is your “definition” of beauty, your next step is to figure out WHY you believe those things. Go through your list of all the physical traits you identify with being beautiful, and figure out the core reasons why you feel that way. What past experiences have you had that forced this limiting belief into your subconscious? In order to learn how to feel beautiful, we need to be able to challenge our current beliefs and develop new ones. The truth is, so many of us believe beauty is a certain way because we have had negative experiences that coined these ideas in our minds. It’s up to us to change it. Write out all the reasons why you believe each of these physical traits you listed are important. Were you bullied for being chubby? Did someone make a comment about your skin growing up? Did a boy make fun of you for having a flat chest? Get real with yourself. And be as specific as possible.

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Discover the emotions behind those beliefs.

Ok, so now it’s time to figure out what emotions you associate with your beautiful roadmap. See that list you created of all those physical things you believe are the key secrets for how to be beautiful? What do each of those things mean to you emotionally? Does a thin body mean a sense of being controlled and connected to yourself? Do you think long hair is feminine and that’s why it is beautiful? Understanding what emotions each of those physical traits brings up is super important – it helps you understand the emotional road map for learning how to feel beautiful. So for each physical trait, cross it out and redefine it with an emotional trait that you most connect it with. (There are some tips in the worksheet below)

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Create a new strategy for how to feel beautiful.

Okay coolness.. Now comes my favorite part for learning how to feel beautiful: The moment when you start to actually CHANGE your view on what it means! Now that you have all those sexy ass emotions listed out on a piece of paper, it’s time to discover new extra ways to create that feeling in your life. So you thought long hair was feminine ? What other ways can you feel feminine? If you thought feeling thin gave you a sense of strength or empowerment, what other things can you do each day to feel that way? Get my point? See where this is going?

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Okay. Awesome.

Now go get the free worksheet for creating your own Beauty Roadmap and learning how to feel beautiful for realz yo!

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What is Perfection is the Self Improvement blog for the imperfect girl everywhere. Learn to find happiness, feel beautiful, and be confident in who you are. We all deserve to be happy, and we all deserve to be the best version of us. And we all are truly capable of getting there. Because Perfection Is Impossible. Happiness isn’t. See The Self Improvement E-Guide Collection For Your Life Coaching Guides to Change Your Life Today!

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20 Ways to Feel Happy RIGHT NOW.

20 Ways to Feel Happy RIGHT NOW.

Have you ever gotten stuck in a rut? Maybe felt a little crummy for no reason? It happens to all of us. My boyfriend and I like to call this “the heeby geebies.” It’s that weird feeling in your tummy where you just feel a little “off” for some weird reason. It’s that icky feeling you can’t seem to shake. And guess what?  Even the happiest people in the world experience those negative vibes from time to time. It happens to me too! That’s why I always have a special list of things I can do to quickly change my state. A “Happy Go Lucky” list. Coming up with s simple strategy for how to feel happier is pretty easy. And that’s what I’m talking about today!

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How to Feel Happier

When I started my self love journey, my main priority was to grow my overall happiness. Coming from a place where I spent most of my time feeling super depressed, I knew that feeling happy was my main goal.

But it took me a long time to achieve it. Sucks doesn’t it?

Learning how to feel happier when you feel miserable is a super hard thing to do. It’s like landing yourself in a foreign country and trying to speak a whole new language.

It took me years to learn how to feel happier, because I never knew how important self love and confidence were. But I got there! And now I coach other girls who to find that same sense of worth and confidence in my intensive 30 day  Perfection Program.

But let’s face it, I’m human. And every once and a while, sadness still gets the best of me. And it’s usually unexpected. Sometimes it’s that week of the month, or sometimes it’s just a lack of sleep. Other days, I can feel a little “off” or “overwhelmed” and in need of some extra happiness.

The How to Feel Happier List

If you are ever feeling down or like “happy” isn’t a possibility, just remember that changing your state can happen in an instant! A while back I created a go-to list of “to-do’s” for how to feel happier. I have this list in my back pocket whenever I need a quick state change. Because no matter what the cause of my funky mood is, there is always something I can do to change it.

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My How to Feel Happier List

So today I want to share my list with you! These are little things I can do to quickly change my attitude and get back into my “positive place.”

Keep in mind, everyone’s list is different. We all have different passions, interests and hobbies. That’s why it’s important to make your own “how to be happier” list.

But if you need some inspiration, here’s mine:

checkmarkGo for a walk outside and think of all the things I am truly grateful for. (walking meditation rocks!) Getting outside is the best for feeling amazing and changing your state. See my post about it!

checkmarkGet your nails done or have an at home manicure sesh ! I love turning up the music and just relaxing with a nice mani pedi at home!

checkmarkHave an At Home Spa Day! See my post and get the free guide for having one in your own home!

checkmarkPut the music on and dance. Just 5 minutes can totally change your attitude into fun and positive

checkmarkSet some time aside for some journaling. Journal prompts are a great way to reflect and start feeling happy. Think positive when you write!

checkmarkSing a song

checkmarkWatch an old disney movie that made you smile when you were young

checkmarkDo a detox scrub on your skin or try dry brushing ! It’s a great way to release toxins and get out all that bad energy.

checkmarkHave a 20 minute detox bath. This one is my favorite. I think I’m doing it today.

checkmarkHave a workout session at the gym.

checkmarkGo through old photos of you with friends and family

checkmarkMake a vision board

checkmarkTry meditation! I love it with some calm relaxing oil scents. It makes my meditation that much better when it smells awesome.

checkmarkTry Coloring Therapy ! It’s amazing.

checkmarkWrite a letter to someone you love telling them why they are awesome. Showing love is the best way to feel loved and happy.

checkmarkRead a book! Set some quiet time for yourself and read a book that will take you out of your thoughts and into a new story!

checkmarkClean ! For some reason, cleaning can be super relaxing if you find something that you know will make you feel great when its all organized and pretty!

checkmarkGo shopping! I of course am guilty of doing this a little too often.. but sometimes a little shopping trip can boost my energy

checkmarkIf you are on the go, try downloading an E book, or a song that boost your spirits and listening on the go! It definitely changes my state.

checkmarkTry Gratitude: In your head, make a list of all the things you are grateful for. I find this really helps. Practicing gratitude out loud is a great way for feeling happy.

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WANT TO MAKE YOUR OWN HAPPINESS CHECKLIST?

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Divider what is perfection

What is Perfection is the Self Improvement blog for the imperfect girl everywhere. Learn to find happiness, feel beautiful, and be confident in who you are. We all deserve to be happy, and we all deserve to be the best version of us. And we all are truly capable of getting there. Because Perfection Is Impossible. Happiness isn’t. See The Self Improvement E-Guide Collection For Your Life Coaching Guides to Change Your Life Today!

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Raise Your Standards and Start Being Happy.

Raise Your Standards and Start Being Happy.

Bad news bears alert: Settling for less than you deserve is a shit way to live. Seriously. The shittiest. I mean, duh, we pretty much all know that right? We’ve heard the “raise your standards” lecture so many times before:

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“Don’t stay in a shitty job if you hate it.
Stop dating the jerk if he doesn’t treat you right.
Let go of that friend who is taking advantage of you.
Stand up for yourself when that girl at work is bullying you.”

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We’ve heard it a bunch of different ways. But all that advice has the same translation: Raise your standards and stop settling for shitty things.

But here’s the problem when it comes to wanting to raise your standards: It’s obvious that you should do it, but very few people know how to. Why is it such a hard lesson to learn? And how exactly do you raise your standards when you have been constantly living life settling for less than you deserve? If you’re the girl asking those questions, keep reading. Because I’m going to tell you.

 

 

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Why You Need to Raise Your Standards

First, I need to hammer home the point that learning to raise your standards is actually super important. Because why would you do try to even do it if it wasn’t such a big deal? And it IS A BIG DEAL! Why? Because it totally effects EVERYTHING about you.

Your life is a direct reflection of the standards you hold.

Don’t believe me? Is the concept too fluffy or theoretical to you? Let me break it down for you: If you don’t feel good about yourself, you are never going to attract a life that feels good for you. If you don’t feel valuable to yourself, you won’t attract people who value you either. If you don’t think you are worth anything, say goodbye to that sexy office and promotion you want so badly.

But forget about the world around you for a minute – think about why you should raise your standards for yourself.

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If you don’t have high standards for what being “healthy” means – how can you possibly find the drive to take care of your body? – Keep smoking those cigarettes, eating that fried food and avoiding that treadmill.

If you don’t have high standards for the quality of your life – meaning living a fulfilling happy joyful one – how can you possibly go after your dreams and goals? – Forget that dream of advancing your career or going back for your masters degree.

And most importantly, let’s talk about LOVE: If you don’t have a strong sense of what you deserve in your love life, how can you possibly find something better than the relationship you have right now? – Go ahead, stay stuck in that unhealthy unhappy relationship.

I hope you get my point here.

What we think of ourselves, and the standards we have, directly effects our life in every single way. And if you want a better life, you simply need to raise your standards.

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So, Now You Need to Raise Your Standards

Here’s how you do it. It’s simple, it’s easy, and it works.

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cutehearttealwipIdentify what areas of your life are making you unhappy right now.

Are you feeling stuck in a really destructive unhealthy relationship with someone? Maybe you feel like you don’t prioritize yourself enough and are constantly avoiding that self care time you really deserve. Perhaps you feel like you need to focus more on your health and start taking care of your body. Make a list of all the areas of your life that you are struggling with right now, and identity what specifically is making you unhappy. If you are unhappy in a certain area of your life, most of the time it is because you are compromising what you really want for yourself. Identify the issues so you can raise your standards and fix those problem areas.

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Figure out what limiting beliefs are holding you back.

This is a huge component of my one on one coaching and the online courses I run for Personal development. Behind every low standard you have for yourself is a limiting belief that you can’t have anything better or don’t deserve anything better. So ask yourself, in those areas of your life that you seem to be unhappy, what limiting beliefs do you have that are keeping you from going after something better.

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Create new positive empowering beliefs.

You can’t just stop thinking negatively about yourself. You need to replace whatever limiting belief you have with a POSITIVE EMPOWERING one. So if you’re old belief was “I will never find someone better to love me,” replace that limiting belief with this: “I am a beautiful, gorgeous woman who deserves to be loved and cared for in every which way.”

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Find the facts to back up that belief.

Build your confidence, figure out exactly what tangible evidence you have in your life to support your new empowering belief. Come up with all the reasons you are beautiful, worth it,, deserving, and capable. Get real and honest with yourself… and start showing yourself a little bit of love. In my experience coaching my clients, this is one of the hardest steps to take in the process of learning to raise your standards. So many women feel insecure learning how to redefine their self worth and love. If you are struggling, go check out my affordable coaching programs here.

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Identify what you want, and what you will no longer tolerate.

This is huge in the process of learning to raise your standards. Once you figure out all the reasons you are deserving and capable of improving your life, you need to recognize wha you will NO LONGER tolerate. Take a stand, identify all the of the things you refuse to “settle for.” Set a date on the calendar and come up with a plan to start living to a higher standard. Promise yourself you will no longer tolerate X, Y, and Z, in your life.

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Invest in your personal development.

Learning how to raise your standards is only a small part of building your confidence. And like any new hobby or habit, you need to educate yourself, become informed and retrain your brain to think differently. If you are the girl out there ready to make a positive change for herself, and her worth, take a big bold step and sign up for a 30 day transformation course. Go to the store and get personal development books. Start journaling. Whatever works for you and your budget. Knowing your worth and investing in yourself is a great amazing way to raise your standards. Probably one of the best.

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Ready for a big step? Get the top rated program for transforming your confidence and healing your heartbreak!

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Check out my 30 Day Broken to Beautiful Course!

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Questions to Ask Before You Breakup [FREE QUIZ!]

Questions to Ask Before You Breakup [FREE QUIZ!]

Ready for an awesome breakup quiz? — I know, I know… how can a breakup be awesome right? I mean – the words breakup and awesome don’t exactly go together.

But they do here.

Because I am about to give you the simple questions you need to ask before breaking up. So that when you actually do, you feel your bad ass confident self is making the right choice.

Okay. Here we go. But first things first

The Relationship Breakup Quiz from What is Perfection

It’s really easy to get wrapped up in everything our relationship used to offer us. After all, we didn’t exactly fall in love with our partner for the same reasons we are falling out of love right? If you feel ready to call it quits though, check this post for the steps on exactly how to move on after a breakup. If not, keep reading.

A lot of us sit in limbo trying to figure out if this walking away is the right decision for  us because we just aren’t sure what to do. We feel stuck. Sometimes we are afraid of being alone. So we hold onto our unhealthy relationship. Other times, we just feel scared we are making the wrong decision.

But whatever the reasons are for contemplating walking away, the first thing I tell all my clients to do is to start asking the RIGHT questions.

And today I am going to share some of those with you.

 

The Questions Before The Breakup Quiz

Does this person make me feel whole or make me feel less than?

Nine times out of ten, my clients tell me that their relationships make them feel less than they know they deserve to feel. After all, I coach women who are completely at their breaking point. They are pretty certain their partners are preventing their happiness when they come to me for guidance. But not all of us have reached that “rock bottom” moment just yet. Asking yourself how this person makes you feel on a regular basis is important. Because it’s easy to get wrapped up in all the things you wish you could change. And so sometimes we forget how to see things for what they really are in their current state. Forget how your relationship used to be. How is your relationship right now?

Does my relationship fill me with happiness and security or does it leave me feeling empty and full of doubt

Relationships are full of all different kinds of emotions. Even in the healthiest of relationships we can experience frustration, anger and doubt. But asking yourself how your relationship feels to you on the WHOLE (meaning weekly or monthly) is good way of evaluating your experience. Your relationship should never take your self worth away. It should never fill your heart with sadness or doubt more than it is a source of comfort and safety.

Do I rely on this relationship to provide me all of my happiness? Or are my expectations for this relationship realistic?

This is a big important one guys. So so many of us are not complete whole and happy individuals ourselves. I see this so often in my coaching program. Women come to me feeling like their relationships are not providing them the emotions they wish they had in their lives. Which is a good thing to recognize. But when you are relying on your love life to be your only source of salvation and happiness -you have a problem. We cannot place demands on our partner asking them for things that we don’t provide for ourselves first and foremost.

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The Breakup Quiz

Did you get all of those questions out of the way? Good. I hope so. Still feel stuck? Don’t worry. Grab this free printable guide to take a little breakup quiz for yourself. This Question form will help you uncover the strongest sources of emotion in your relationship to help you figure out whether or not you should stay or go. If the light bulb goes off and you realize it’s time to walk away but you’re still shaking in your lady boots don’t worry. Check out the Perfection Program to start making your dramatic life transformation and healing your heart step by step.

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An Awesome Bucket List for The Single Ladies!

An Awesome Bucket List for The Single Ladies!

So, the other day I started thinking about all you single ladies out there. And I was wondering, have any of you made a single girl bucket list?

Because when  I was single, that’s what I did. And it rocked my world.

Single Girl Bucket List

What is a Single Girl Bucket List

It’s basically exactly what it sounds like. A single girl bucket list is that awesome detailed check list of all the amazing things you want to do in your life, but can only really do when you are single. Well, maybe you CAN do them when you are in a relationship but they aren’t as fun. And maybe they come with more consequences. *winkie face*

Coming up with a single girl bucket list is a great way to feel happy when you start a new venture out of a relationship – especially if it’s been a while since you’ve been on the market.

I wrote an article a while back on learning how to be happy alone, because it’s important to find your worth outside of relationships. But spending your time wisely while you are livin la vida loca and actually enjoying your freedom may not come naturally in the beginning.

So if you’re that newly single girl struggling to fill your time and actually enjoy your freedom, then put down the tissues and get out your pen and paper to start crafting your single girl bucket list!

You are about to start brainstorming an amazing new adventure that makes you a women that Beyonce loves to sing about.

Ready single ladies?

Get ready to let your freak flag fly. Because nothing is off limits when you’re a single lady making her mark on the world ..  except maybe the dangerous and self destructive stuff. Let’s maybe leave those things off the table okay?

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My Single Girl Bucket List

Here’s an example of some of the things I put on my single girl bucket list when I ended my five year relationship.

1.Buy Myself Sexy Smelling Perfume.

2. Have a One Tree Hill TV Binge Sesh.

3. Have an at home spa day. (If you need ideas check out this post)

4. Go out on the town for a full blown girls night.

5. Go dancing.

6. Learn to dance.

7. Try hot yoga.

8. Redesign my apartment.

9. Try a new DIY project I’ve been wanting to do.

10. Read 50 Shades of Grey.

11. Have a makeover at sephora.

12. Go rock climbing.

13. Visit my best friend in Florida.

14. Sing Loudly in my apartment in my pajamas.

15. Buy sexy lingerie for me myself and I.

16. Go to a speed dating event.

17. Go to dinner and a movie by myself.

18. Make-out with a stranger.

19. dirty dance with a guy at the bar.

20. Get my nose pierced.

21. Get that haircut that he thought wasn’t sexy (but that I really wanted.)

22. Treat myself to a new sexy outfit.

23. Go to a hookah bar.

24. Take a vacation by myself.

25. Go for a massage and have a spa day.

26. Learn to love myself.

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Need some help making an official list? Grab this!  And check out my other tips for being single on the blog!

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