How to Be a Badass

How to Be a Badass

Want to know how to be a badass? Well.. good. because we all need to be badass game changers in our lives. I got inspired to write this post a while back, after reading  Jen Sincero’s “You are a Badass.” If you haven’t read it yet, you need to. You can check out this post, I wrote about the book if you want more details.

When I read the book last year, I was super inspired and motivated to write a follow up. But I guess I was too busy being a badass to actually take the time and write about being a badass. Yeah. I’ve been wanting to write this follow up for FO-EVA! It’s about damn time I share this with you

The secret lessons I learned from her book, and how to be a badass in your own life!

So What Exactly Is a Badass?

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I’ve crafted my own answer to that question. Based on what I learned from Sincero’s book and my own life experiences, I’ve decided that being a badasss is actually a good thing.

It’s definition is a little complicated.

Basically it means your a person who grabs life by the reins and actually takes action. You’re a go-getter. A decision maker. A dream creator. And a game changer of your own life. You don’t let other people dictate your decisions, and you don’t live in fear.

Basically you go out and make happiness in your life without giving a fuck about what other people think.

You follow your heart.

Sincero puts it perfectly in her book:

“You need to go from wanting to change your life to deciding to change your life.” — That’s a badass.

“If you want to live a life you’ve never lived, you have to do things you’ve never done.” Another “how to be a badass” lesson.

“You are (only) a victim of the rules you live by,” – So let’s change it and be an amazing badass rockstar shall we?

But just in case you don’t get the point already, let me just over emphasize this a minute:

We all need to learn how to be a badass in our live. We all need to start creating the future we want and take some big risks to go make it happen.

(Yes. Being a badass is a GOOD THING.)

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The Secret Steps for Learning How to Be a Badass

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Okay.. you ready? I am going to share with you the breakdown of everything I learned in Jen Sincero’s book. Not because I love writing book reports (I actually hate them.) But because I love you (my readers) so fucking much that I need to share this with you. IT’s GOLD.

cutehearttealwipStop living an illusion based on someone else’s beliefs.

This was by far the biggest wakeup call for me when reading this book and learning how to be a badass. Basically, we are believing and living life based on what other people tell us is right and wrong. And guess what? About 90 percent of it is bull shit. “You need a 401k,” and “You can’t be an artist that isn’t a real career,” blah blah blah. How many limiting beliefs do you have based on what other people have told you is right and wrong in your life? Go kill those beliefs. Dead them dude. Start living by your own rules.

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If you think shit, you get shit. So get your head out of the gutter.

Stop complaining about all the bad things that have happened to you in your life and start focusing on the good things you want. This isn’t just for fairytale wishing and living in la-la-land. Positive thinking attracted positive actions and experiences. The more you continue to sulk in all your hardships, the more hardships you’ll have. Check out my post on the law of attraction if you need more.

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Loving yourself is the key to all happiness.

Thank god I knew this one already. Or else I would be incredibly lost in my life. Self love is the key source to all happiness and good in your life. If you want to learn how to be a badass, the first step is DEFINITELY learning how to love yourself. Check out the Perfection Program – because that 30 Day course shows you how to make that self love happen in your life. But For now, just rely on this quote from Sincero’s book: “When we’re happy and all in love with ourselves, we can’t be bothered with the bullshit (our own or other people’s.)

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Do not waste your time worrying about other people.

I could write a million sentences about this till I’m old and gray. But I’ll just share a line from Sincero’s book: “DO NOT WASTE YOUR PRECIOUS TIME GIVING ONE SINGLE CRAP ABOUT WHAT ANYBODY THINKS OF YOU.” (she put this in caps for a reason guys. She’s serious.) Instead, start focusing more on yourself, what you want and how you should go about getting it. Letting go of what other people think is a huge big important part of self love (not to mention it’s in the Perfection Program.) Check out this post if you want to learn exactly how to let go of what other people think.

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Yup. You got it? Know how to be a badass now? Good.  Go be it girl. 

Oh.. and if you need more tips 

Check out this post:

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My November Goals and Plans

My November Goals and Plans

Yo. It’s November 1st. Can you believe it? Seriously, I can’t. So much has been going on lately in my life. The Fall season is practically running away from me right now. It’s nuts.

Lately, my personal life has been CRAYYYYYY. Matt and I just got engaged *that story is here if you are interested .* And we are shopping for a house, planning for the future and getting super excited.

Not to mention that this week marks the one year anniversary of What is Perfection! (Oh em gee- I cannot believe it.) Time has gone by SOOO fast running my own business. And while I am feeling super nostalgic about the first WIP Birthday celebration, I also got my wheels spinning with a bunch of project ideas, blog topics and self improvement programs.

So today when I was trying to figure out what to write about, it hit me: OH EM GEE IT’S NOVEMBER 1ST! Time for new goals!

I do this at the start of every month. I get out a pen and paper and write out my big goals and ideas for what I want to achieve in the next 30 days.

Most of the time I don’t accomplish everything on the list, but who cares. The point is  I can look back and feel super accomplished for at least doing some of it. I use a SMART goal setting system (check out this post to help you create your own goal setting system too.)

I highly recommend this to anyone looking to improve their life – setting month goals is fantastic. So, to get your brain wheels turning, here are my November goals. I love to share my ideas each month because that way I hold myself accountable!

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My November Goals

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Okay.. here we go.. November goals:

1. Find our dream home.

This is something Matt and I have been working hard towards. We feel ready to find our first dream house and make the big purchase, but falling in love with a home has been a hard process. We are very picky and have specific ideas for our home – and while we think we may have found one recently, we don’t want to jinx it. So yes.. finding our dream home is a top priority for us this month.

2. Improve my healthy lifestyle.

This is something I always put on my goals list, but I’m getting super specific about it this month. I want to spend the rest of the month building on my running mileage. I really enjoy running and consider it a form of meditation, so my goal this month is to run 5 days out of the week every week.

3. Launch Broken to Beautiful for 2016.

The Broken to Beautiful program is a 30 day program I have been working on revising and improving for a new launch at the end of November. The program is a top rated course for women looking to heal their broken hearts. By the way, enrollment is open now and it is going to be AMAZE guys. Seriously .Check it out here.

4. Read more often.

I go through phases where I get into reading a lot – and then randomly I just stop reading. This month I want to focus on incorporating it into my schedule every single day to make sure I have that “relaxing me time.” Right now I am readying “Ego is the Enemy,” and “A Million Little Pieces.” Yes, I read two books at once. Yeah It’s kind of my thing.

5. Be More Vulnerable on WIP.

So I notice that the more I open up on What is Perfection, the more of a difference I can make to my readers. And this month I am determined to get a little more open about my experiences on the blog. So for November, I plan on writing a bit more about my life before I was confident and full of self love – things like my eating disorder, my sexual abuse, and my unhealthy first marriage – expect those posts soon.

6. Grow the Facebook communities and be more “video” present.

If you haven’t noticed the Facebook groups – go get on them! Feel free to join them and enroll here. I offer more self confidence tips and free advice to my readers in those groups! (Plus they are free!)

So that’s it for my November goals. What are yours? I’d love to hear them! 

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How to Change Your Life

How to Change Your Life

It’s the question I get from so many of my clients – and if you want to know how to change your life too, you are in the right place.

A long time ago I was that girl struggling to figure out how to start feeling happy again. My life was a complete mess and feeling good about myself was an impossible uphill battle.

I knew what I wanted – but I didn’t know how to get it. And it felt impossible to be happy.

On any self improvement journey, we all start in a place of feeling confused, hopeless, and lost. It’s a normal feeling – but it sucks. Don’t get me wrong.

And that’s why learning how to change your life can seem super complicated. Because when our lives are a total mess, we don’t really know what to fix first to start feeling better.  Lucky for you I am here to show you how to change your life. So get ready for the simple steps to make it happen!

As a self improvement coach, I see so many women struggling to figure out how to pick up the pieces and rebuild their lives.

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“I have a job I am unhappy in, but I need to pay my bills.”

“Okay, I love my boyfriend, but he makes me really unhappy at times, and I don’t want to leave him and be alone.”

“So, I want to lose weight, but I just don’t have the time in my life to cook healthier foods or get to the gym.”

“Bad things keep happening to me all the time.”

“I just feel like I am at rock bottom with no where to go and no idea how to fix it.”

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I hear things like this from clients a lot. So many of them feel really out of control of their own lives and don’t know how to start taking action to change their future. So today I want to talk about it – so you can learn how to change your life no matter where you are coming from right now.

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How to Change Your Life What is Perfection

How to Change Your Life 

cutehearttealwipStart believing you deserve better.

Nothing will ever be accomplished if you think this is something you don’t deserve. For a lot of girls struggling to feel confident and good about themselves, this is one of the hardest steps. I know it’s really difficult to feel deserving of better things in your life when you don’t have  sense of worth. Building that confidence again is key to making any change happen for your life. One tipI give a lot of my clients is to make an “I am deserving” list. Write out your goal, and try to dig deep and discover all of the reasons you deserve to accomplish this dream right here and right now.

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Get specific about the issues.

So, when you start figuring out how to change your life, you need to recognize all the pain point areas of the hurt you are feeling. What is it specifically that is holding you back from being happy? Is it your lack of confidence? Do you have an inability to be open and vulnerable with other people? What is the deep rooted issue here? This is another tough step in the list of learning how to change your life, but the important thing to remember is that it is possible. If you recognize what exactly is holding you back from being the person you want to be, you can treat the illness not the symptoms. Make sense? I hope so.

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Get motivated to take action. “Why must this happen now?”

I love making lists for everything. But especially when it comes to taking action and learning how to change your life.  And making a list of all the reasons why you want to make a change will turn your “I should do this” mentality into a “I must do this” mindset. Come up with all the ways your life will be better if you commit to this decision to change right here and right now. It will drive you into a place of determination that you have never yet experienced.  Take it a step further, and make your list of all the things that will happen if you don’t  change. What will happen in the next five years if you don’t commit to this decision right here and right now.

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Take massive action the moment you decide to change

The minute you have that fire in your belly to change something for yourself, you need to take a massive big step towards a better future. If you want to lose weight, commit to getting a trainer and getting your butt in the gym five days a week. And if you are reading this thinking, “I can’t afford that,” Stop right there. Because you need to prioritize yourself. If you don’t believe you are worth the investment, then you aren’t believing in yourself.

Make your change a must. Get Motivated and Take a Massive Action. Change happens in an instant guys. I know it sounds silly, because we all believe what we see. And we may not see a physical change the second we commit to doing something different for  ourselves. But the truth is change does happen in a heartbeat. It happens the moment we decide to do something better in our life, to make ourselves better, to improve who we are. The physical world just takes a bit longer to catch up with us… so have faith, keep focused and don’t give up on your goals.

 

Okay.. so you’re ready for a massive change:

NOW WHAT?

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Check out the library of SELF IMPROVEMENT COURSES for making it happen.

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And if you want more tips, Check out these other posts:

Change Your Thoughts and Change Your Life – Thinking Positive

Finding Inspiration On Your Journey and Staying Positive 

Setting Goals the Healthy Way 

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What is Perfection is the Self Improvement blog for the imperfect girl everywhere. Learn to find happiness, feel beautiful, and be confident in who you are. We all deserve to be happy, and we all deserve to be the best version of us. And we all are truly capable of getting there. Because Perfection Is Impossible. Happiness isn’t. See The Self Improvement E-Guide Collection For Your Life Coaching Guides to Change Your Life Today!

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Raise Your Standards and Start Being Happy.

Raise Your Standards and Start Being Happy.

Bad news bears alert: Settling for less than you deserve is a shit way to live. Seriously. The shittiest. I mean, duh, we pretty much all know that right? We’ve heard the “raise your standards” lecture so many times before:

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“Don’t stay in a shitty job if you hate it.
Stop dating the jerk if he doesn’t treat you right.
Let go of that friend who is taking advantage of you.
Stand up for yourself when that girl at work is bullying you.”

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We’ve heard it a bunch of different ways. But all that advice has the same translation: Raise your standards and stop settling for shitty things.

But here’s the problem when it comes to wanting to raise your standards: It’s obvious that you should do it, but very few people know how to. Why is it such a hard lesson to learn? And how exactly do you raise your standards when you have been constantly living life settling for less than you deserve? If you’re the girl asking those questions, keep reading. Because I’m going to tell you.

 

 

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Why You Need to Raise Your Standards

First, I need to hammer home the point that learning to raise your standards is actually super important. Because why would you do try to even do it if it wasn’t such a big deal? And it IS A BIG DEAL! Why? Because it totally effects EVERYTHING about you.

Your life is a direct reflection of the standards you hold.

Don’t believe me? Is the concept too fluffy or theoretical to you? Let me break it down for you: If you don’t feel good about yourself, you are never going to attract a life that feels good for you. If you don’t feel valuable to yourself, you won’t attract people who value you either. If you don’t think you are worth anything, say goodbye to that sexy office and promotion you want so badly.

But forget about the world around you for a minute – think about why you should raise your standards for yourself.

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If you don’t have high standards for what being “healthy” means – how can you possibly find the drive to take care of your body? – Keep smoking those cigarettes, eating that fried food and avoiding that treadmill.

If you don’t have high standards for the quality of your life – meaning living a fulfilling happy joyful one – how can you possibly go after your dreams and goals? – Forget that dream of advancing your career or going back for your masters degree.

And most importantly, let’s talk about LOVE: If you don’t have a strong sense of what you deserve in your love life, how can you possibly find something better than the relationship you have right now? – Go ahead, stay stuck in that unhealthy unhappy relationship.

I hope you get my point here.

What we think of ourselves, and the standards we have, directly effects our life in every single way. And if you want a better life, you simply need to raise your standards.

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So, Now You Need to Raise Your Standards

Here’s how you do it. It’s simple, it’s easy, and it works.

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cutehearttealwipIdentify what areas of your life are making you unhappy right now.

Are you feeling stuck in a really destructive unhealthy relationship with someone? Maybe you feel like you don’t prioritize yourself enough and are constantly avoiding that self care time you really deserve. Perhaps you feel like you need to focus more on your health and start taking care of your body. Make a list of all the areas of your life that you are struggling with right now, and identity what specifically is making you unhappy. If you are unhappy in a certain area of your life, most of the time it is because you are compromising what you really want for yourself. Identify the issues so you can raise your standards and fix those problem areas.

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Figure out what limiting beliefs are holding you back.

This is a huge component of my one on one coaching and the online courses I run for Personal development. Behind every low standard you have for yourself is a limiting belief that you can’t have anything better or don’t deserve anything better. So ask yourself, in those areas of your life that you seem to be unhappy, what limiting beliefs do you have that are keeping you from going after something better.

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Create new positive empowering beliefs.

You can’t just stop thinking negatively about yourself. You need to replace whatever limiting belief you have with a POSITIVE EMPOWERING one. So if you’re old belief was “I will never find someone better to love me,” replace that limiting belief with this: “I am a beautiful, gorgeous woman who deserves to be loved and cared for in every which way.”

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Find the facts to back up that belief.

Build your confidence, figure out exactly what tangible evidence you have in your life to support your new empowering belief. Come up with all the reasons you are beautiful, worth it,, deserving, and capable. Get real and honest with yourself… and start showing yourself a little bit of love. In my experience coaching my clients, this is one of the hardest steps to take in the process of learning to raise your standards. So many women feel insecure learning how to redefine their self worth and love. If you are struggling, go check out my affordable coaching programs here.

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Identify what you want, and what you will no longer tolerate.

This is huge in the process of learning to raise your standards. Once you figure out all the reasons you are deserving and capable of improving your life, you need to recognize wha you will NO LONGER tolerate. Take a stand, identify all the of the things you refuse to “settle for.” Set a date on the calendar and come up with a plan to start living to a higher standard. Promise yourself you will no longer tolerate X, Y, and Z, in your life.

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Invest in your personal development.

Learning how to raise your standards is only a small part of building your confidence. And like any new hobby or habit, you need to educate yourself, become informed and retrain your brain to think differently. If you are the girl out there ready to make a positive change for herself, and her worth, take a big bold step and sign up for a 30 day transformation course. Go to the store and get personal development books. Start journaling. Whatever works for you and your budget. Knowing your worth and investing in yourself is a great amazing way to raise your standards. Probably one of the best.

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Six Ways to Constantly Better Yourself

Six Ways to Constantly Better Yourself

Yo girl who wants to improve her life: Whatuppp?  How you doinnnn (insert awkward smile here) Okay. Now let’s get down to biz. Want to better yourself but don’t know how? Don’t worry. I got you.

When I started my self love journey I felt totally lost. I had no idea how to better myself and shake my lack of self-worth.

I wanted to lose weight, have healthier relationships, be better at my job – you know.. just like.. not suck so much. That was super overwhelming. “Where the heck do I start?” I was asking myself.  Because it seemed like I had so much I wanted to change. And I wanted it to be easier.

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Because doing the actual hard work myself seemed super scary. Seriously. Why couldn’t I just snap my fingers and have a magic fairy godmother swoop down and transform me. Easy peasy right?

It took me a long time to take that big leap of faith and just start making those amazing changes for my life! Slowly, overtime, I started to realize that I didn’t need to change everything about my life all at once.  (Not like that would have happened anyway, even if I tried.)

But I knew if I opened my heart to learning new things, then I could improve myself over time. I just needed to take small steps towards bettering myself each and every day.

So if you’re like I used to be, wondering how to make that improvement to better yourself, then keep calm and read on!

6 Ways to Constantly Be Bettering Yourself

 

Six Ways to Continually Better Yourself

Continually practice self reflection.

You will never better yourself without self reflection. Case and point. Take a deep hard look at yourself and start asking questions: Who am I? What makes me love myself? How can I grow? What makes me happy in life? By asking yourself these simple questions we take for granted, you can start discover the unique path for bettering yourself. Need help with this? Then you need to check out this post.

Read as many books as possible.

The first step in learning how to better yourself is letting down your ego. Seriously – get rid of that pompous attitude that you know everything. You clearly don’t know it all if you are feeling stuck or in need of growth. Set a goal for yourself to read as many self improvement books as you can. I usually aim to read a new one each month. Learning from experts will help you move faster on the better yourself train. If you need help finding that perfect book for you, feel free to browse through some of the self improvement book reviews I’ve posted on the blog.

Set goals, reach them and then make new ones

One of the biggest most valuable lessons I have learned on the journey of self improvement and personal development is that growth NEVER ends. Seriously. You should always be trying to improve and grow yourself. Let go of the belief that you are only trying to better yourself to reach some big end goal. Because once you reach that big goal of yours, you should be setting ANOTHER one! Yup. You heard that right. Multiple goal setting and continuous improvement is what it’s all about.

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Get a mentor. Find a rolemodel.

Finding an expert to help guide you on your self improvement journey (whether it is for your health goals or biz goals or any other goals) is a big awesome positive step. When you find a role model and mentor, you can learn from their mistakes. You can bounce ideas off of them. You can model the things they’ve done to succeed in the way you are trying to succeed. Finding a coach or an expert who is a pro in doing what you are trying to do for yourself is so valuable. Especially if you have been trying to do this thing for years and haven’t been successful yet. Finding a coach is key to changing your path and making success a possibility for you.

Try new things and be open to change

As a self improvement leader and confidence coach, I see so many girls struggling to accomplish simple things like feeling happy and good about themselves. They keep setting the same goals for their bodies or their lives and they keep failing. 9/10 of these girls are constantly trying the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Ever heard the definition of insanity? Well, that’s basically it. If you are constantly trying to accomplish the same thing over and over again the same exact way, you will never be successful. So keep analyzing your improvement journey. Figure out what is working and what isn’t. Keep changing your approach until you find one that works for you.

Invest in yourself.

One of the biggest things I hear from girls who are trying to better themselves, grow and change is that they want to, but  they feels scared to invest in themselves. “I want to hire this coach or join that program, but I just don’t have the money right now.” Well, I hate to break it to you, but if you don’t invest in yourself, you can’t better yourself. By taking big massive action to improve your life, you can drastically push yourself out of the “maybe zone” and turn your wants into MUSTS.

Hope these tips help you on your journey to better yourself!

And if you’re the type of girl reading this feeling like, “OH EM GEE I’M READY,” then you need to check out the Perfection Program. Better yourself in this amazing community with a program that works.

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What is Perfection is the Self Improvement blog for the imperfect girl everywhere. Learn to find happiness, feel beautiful, and be confident in who you are. We all deserve to be happy, and we all deserve to be the best version of us. And we all are truly capable of getting there. Because Perfection Is Impossible. Happiness isn’t. See The Self Improvement E-Guide Collection For Your Life Coaching Guides to Change Your Life Today!

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