I have never been the girl who has a ton of friends… you know the girls I’m talking about – the ones who have a calendar full of bridesmaids duties, girls brunches, and spa sessions. The girl who always has five other girls by her side to share in memories 24/7. Yeah…. not me.
I used to be jealous of girls like that – but overtime I have learned to accept the fact that I am, by nature, just more of a secluded girl.. the kind who chooses her friends carefully. It probably has something to do with the fact that I’ve been hurt before by a lot of friends – friends who claimed to have my best interest at heart and didn’t.
It’s sad to live life with a wall up, but over time through the years I have learned to let people in… slowly, and selectively. And that is what works for me.
Being careful about the friends you choose to share your life with and “let in” is kind of a good thing. It helps you feel loved in a more precious way… you appreciate it.. you don’t take advantage of it… you care for those relationships a little bit more knowing that they are special.
But every once in a while you let someone in who you shouldn’t. A person who doesn’t really want to be your friend but pretends to…a person who maybe just wants to get close to you for a self fulfilling reason. A person who, let’s face it, isn’t good for you. And suddenly you find yourself facing the lesson all over again – the sad lesson about how not all people are good, and how not everyone in this world is caring kind or compassionate.
And it’s a hard lesson to learn.
Recently I opened up my life and became friends with someone who I thought would be my “forever friend” ….she was wonderful, kind and compassionate… until she wasn’t.
And If this has ever happened to you, I’m writing this post to let you all know that it is Okay to let go when you realize that person isn’t who you thought they were.
The people who don’t serve you in your life are sometimes hard to spot. It’s almost like we have rose colored friendship goggles on that prevent us from seeing the truth sometimes. And when we see it, the truth can hurt.
If you don’t know what people I am talking about – what people are worth letting go of in your life – I’ll help spell it out for you.
The people to let go of are the ones who don’t serve you… the ones who don’t make you feel good, but make you feel worse.
-They are the people who make you feel more anxious, stressed or overwhelmed when you are around them.
-The people who don’t lift you up… who instead make you feel bad about who you are, what your passions are or what you want in life.
-They are the friends or family members who don’t seem to really care about your own interests and passions because they are too invested in their own agenda to spend time supporting you.
-They are the people who, essentially are just not worth your time. The people who can make you feel used, depleted and a little less confident.
It’s time to let those people go. No matter how long you’ve known them, no matter how much they mean to you, no matter how important or wonderful they once were to you in your life. If they are like this now, they aren’t the people worth sharing your life with.
My recent venture trying to create a friendship with someone who didn’t really respect me the way I wanted to be respected forced me to learn this lesson all over again. And even though it was a hard lesson to learn, I was reminded yet again of how important it is to fill your life with people who love and support you.
When you fill your life with people who don’t serve you, people who don’t have your best interest at heart, it keeps you from attracting what is really important to you – your overall happiness. It leaves less room for wonderful in your life. So make room… nix the negativity and say goodbye to those harmful people.
Letting go is a beautiful thing.
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