I have been scared of things my whole entire life. When I was little, I was scared of monsters. When I was a teenager, I was scared of bullies. But when I got older, fear started manifesting in a totally different way – I wasn’t scared of other people or things around me anymore. I was scared of myself. I felt afraid of failing in my life and worried that I would not be enough. I was constantly concerned that I was making the wrong decisions in my life. But Over time I realized that my life would never be happy if I didn’t learn how to let go of fear. So I did. So today I’m going to tell you how to let go of fear too!
Do you have a hard time learning how to let go of fear? Ever been there? Whether its the boogie man, bullies at your locker or the battle inside yourself, fear is a big ass monster looking to wreck your chances of feeling happy.
If you are the type of person who doesn’t know how to let go of fear, you are probably constantly over analyzing the decisions you are making in your life. If you feel a constant worry that you aren’t doing the right thing or you aren’t making the best choices, that’s your fear talking. And it sucks. Because fear of yourself can be even more of a bully than that jerk at your locker was in high school.
Trouble learning to let go of fear? It’s almost like the what if’s of our decisions haunt us more than the reality of the choices we make. We are constantly worried, stressed, and overwhelmed at the thought that we are doing it wrong… that the choices we are making aren’t right, and we will only face the consequences in the future.. like a ticking time bomb waiting to explode on our lives.
My Fear Story
The unhealthiest relationship of my life was also the one that left me afraid and immobilized. I wanted to leave. I wanted to walk away . I wanted to call it quits. But something inside my just kept on replaying the what if’s .. What if I was making the wrong decision? What if my family loves me less when I walk away from this relationship because I’m making the wrong decision? What if this unhappy relationship was actually capable of being happy and I was simply jeopardizing it with all my negativity? What if I was failing and what if this was my only shot at being happy.
That was fear talking. But once I let go of fear I found my inner strength (a story you can read about in this post here.)
What if I do change and don’t love myself enough at that point? So why try right? What if I do change and don’t find someone to love me or what if I don’t feel good about myself and put in all this work for nothing? Or what if … what if I just totally fail and can’t do it. So for a while I didn’t even try. My fear talked me out of changing my life for the better.
How to Let Go Of Fear:
Witness your fear instead of ignoring it.
At some point, you need to be brave. You need to let go of fear. Try to step away and move on and just take a chance on following your gut. In order to do any of that, you can’t ignore your fear. You need to witness it. You need to acknowledge that feeling – that insecurity and doubt you have – see it clearly for what it is. Because in order to grow and let go, you must first recognize that your fear exists. If you ignore fear, it will only grow and debilitate you even more. So acknowledge it. Ask yourself, “What am I afraid of exactly?”
Discover the root of that fear.
Everything we are afraid of boils down to one of two fears: We are either afraid of not being loved or not being enough. That is it. It’s simple. Are you afraid of not being loved? Or are you afraid of not being enough? Discover the root fear associated with whatever it is you are afraid of doing. Failure and love are two very strong emotions. No matter what we are holding back from doing (or feeling scared of doing) it is based on one of those two things. So figure out what it is so you can let go of fear.
Figure out why that fear is irrational.
Are you scared of walking away from an unhealthy relationship because you are worried that you will never find love again? Are you scared of going on a date with a boy or falling in love because you are afraid you are too heavy or overweight to be in love? Those fears are completely irrational. And deep down you know that. You just need to sort through those feeling to let go of fear and realize how irrational that fear really is. Take these examples:
If you are scared of leaving a relationship because you don’t think you will fall in love again, write out why that is a ridiculous belief. “Of course I will find love again because I am wonderful, I am beautiful, and awesome. And I know that plenty of people fall in love more than once. If they can I can too.”
If you are scared of falling in love because you don’t think you are skinny or beautiful enough to find someone who will love you. “Of course I will find true love once I just put myself out there. I am beautiful the way I am and this fear is ridiculous. SO many overweight women find true love. SO many people out there fall in love and their physical beauty is irrelevant. I deserve to be in love and will find true love because I am a great person who deserves it!”
Get the point? Cool. Write the list, let go of fear and then…
Take Massive Action.
Let go of the fear, set a new goal and take a big massive action to change your life. Keep reading to learn how!
Once you acknowledge what you are scared of, its time to let go of fear. Let go of all that doubt and negativity and say goodbye. And if you have no idea how to do that, try one of these exercises. They work.
Letting Go Of Fear Exercises
The Fear and Fire Release Exercise.
write down a few negative thoughts you have about yourself or things you want to let go of… “I am saying goodbye to not being good enough.. Saying goodbye to hating my body… Saying Goodbye to my harmful relationship….” Writing down the thoughts you will no longer tolerate or stand for in your life… Put them in a fire, or burn them in a bucket.. Watch them disappear and eliminate them symbolically, and physically in your life.
Writing a Letter to the Past
Writing a letter to someone you are letting go of, or even to yourself is a great way to let go and say goodbye to things. I am not suggesting you go ahead and send a hateful letter to your ex.. but writing out all the feelings associated with your past relationship and releasing them as you put your thoughts on paper is a great way to say goodbye to whatever is holding you back. Writing letters to your former self or writing letters to who you are now and telling yourself what you are changing and why you are changing is a great way to symbolically rid your life of all that is hurting you or all that you are still holding on to.
The Balloon Release Experiment.
This exercise to let go of fear is a super fun one. Go to the party store, get a balloon and write down a letter to yourself. Write it ON the balloon. Cool right? Use a marker or write it on a piece of paper and tie it to the balloon. Write down your fears. Reflect on your words for al little while and then release your balloon into the sky. Say goodbye to all that you are afraid of!
Write a Letter to Someone You Love About How You Are Changing Now.
Having someone to hold you accountable is a great way to make change happen. I wrote a letter to my boyfriend and told him all the ways I was changing my life and why I was changing them. I told him in a heartfelt note what I would no longer tolerate in my life and what I needed to change. I said goodbye to my fears, committed to change and never looked back.
Don’t look back. Don’t live in doubt. Follow your gut.. and create the life you deserve.
Need help learning how to take the next step? Check out this post on how to find your inner strength.
What is Perfection is the Self Improvement blog for the imperfect girl everywhere. Learn to find happiness, feel beautiful, and be confident in who you are. We all deserve to be happy, and we all deserve to be the best version of us. And we all are truly capable of getting there. Because Perfection Is Impossible. Happiness isn’t. See The Self Improvement E-Guide Collection For Your Life Coaching Guides to Change Your Life Today!