I wasn’t always a strong woman. In fact, some days, even now, being confident and brave is still challenging. I’ve been through a lot of messy terrible experiences that made finding inner strength a very long journey.

In fact, if you put it all on paper – the story of the girl I once was – it would seem impossible to imagine that girl would possess  any confidence at all today. But believe it or not, I do.

My inner strength isn’t just a part of me: It’s what drives me every single day to make better choices and to live a higher quality life than I used to.

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See that picture? It’s a scary image don’t you think? Well, you may think so, but to me it is beautiful. I bought it at a school art show. At the time, I was only 17 years old. And I felt completely lost in my life. I remember seeing this picture in the hallway ay high school and being completely overwhelmed with emotion that I cried.

Ten years later, this picture is still inspiring me. Whenever I find myself struggling with a decision or a difficult experience, I can look at this picture and feel my inner strength pushing through.

This picture became a symbol of strength that carried me during some of the most difficult times in my life. It coined the phrase “What is Perfection,” that would become my first tattoo. Twelve years later, it would inspire this blog and my self improvement company that bears the name.

When I think back to the girl I was when I first saw this picture, I can’t even relate to her. She was weak, lost, insecure and alone. Somewhere between then and now I found my inner strength. And after everything I have been through – if I can do that, you can too.


How I Found My Inner Strength

It isn’t easy to pinpoint the moment everything changed in my life. For a very long time I played the victim of my own identity. When bad things happened to me I would tell myself that my life was meant to be sad and miserable. And I was convinced that I had no ability to change it. When traumatic things happened in my life, I interpreted them in a negative way. I saw my experiences as reason to discredit my moral beliefs: The world wasn’t full of love like I thought it was. It was full of hate.

And slowly my self worth dissipated. Because time and time again I was left hurt and broken by other people. “You are worthless,” I would tell myself.

To be a strong independent person is to say you possess the resources, the mentality and the physical capability to overcome difficulty. You have the moral and intellectual ability to overcome tough times without becoming jaded or bankrupt of your own values and beliefs.

I was never really any of those things. Until I had to be.

Flash forward to when I was 22. I had an unhealthy marriage, and was still lacking confidence and inner strength. My heart was telling me to walk away from my relationship. I knew it was wrong for me, but I felt scared. I didn’t really have anyone who supported me back then. And I knew that if I was going to make the decision to walk away, I was going to have to do it on my own.

So I did.

This is the best way I can describe how I found my inner strength: I made a decision that forced me to find it. I made a choice for my own life with no one else to guiding me. The minute I did that, a flicker of my inner strength appeared. It was like a light bulb turned on in the middle of a very dark world.  I could see the light in the distance for a little while, and then it flickered off again.

After that big decision, I had to trust my instincts. I had to guide myself through the dark and head towards where I thought that light of inner strength lived. Every time I walked closer and closer, the light would flicker again as a reminder that I was heading in the right direction.

Eventually, I would reach it, grab it, and hold on to it for the rest of my life.

That is how you find inner strength.

You make a big decision for yourself independently. You start to trust your gut and listen to your heart. The more decisions you make for yourself, the closer you will get to that light of inner strength. You just need to keep pushing through the dark.

If you are looking to find your inner strength, you need to first take a leap of faith in the darkness. You need to believe in yourself, even just a little bit. So find the courage to make a decision for yourself.

Once you do, everything changes.

Need help finding your own inner strength? Read more tips on how to over come adversity here.

Want to overcome fear? Come check out this post on learning how to let go of fear.


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What is Perfection is the Self Improvement blog for the imperfect girl everywhere. Learn to find happiness, feel beautiful, and be confident in who you are. We all deserve to be happy, and we all deserve to be the best version of us. And we all are truly capable of getting there. Because Perfection Is Impossible. Happiness isn’t. See The Self Improvement E-Guide Collection For Your Life Coaching Guides to Change Your Life Today!

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