So a While Back I told you all about my awesome trip to Florida attending my first Tony Robbins seminar Unleash the Power Within. It was an amazing four days of long intensive seminars on self discovery, finding happiness, and learning to love yourself. I am so happy I attended the event and cannot wait to go back. I brought a lot of amazing practices and self discovery tools back home with me, and I am so excited to use this blog as a platform to share it with all of you. So today, I wanted to talk about Fear and share the valuable lessons I learned: What causes fear, what it is, how it haunts you, and how to overcome it to live a more amazing awesome life.
What is Fear?
Fear is what stops us from moving forward. Call it stress, Call it insecurity, call it doubt — it is all the same. Fear is the little part of our psycholigy that immobilizes us from taking action and moving forward in our life. IN ANY WAY. IN EVERY WAY. Fear is always the main source of whatever holds you back in life.
The Fear of Not being good enough, and the fear of not being loved. And that was me.
I wanted to change my body, I wanted to get healthy and lose weight, but I was scared of Not being good enough… and Scared of Not being loved the way I want to be.
What controls our mind AND our lives is the meanings we associate to the things in our lives. The things we have, the things we have experienced — those things per-say do not shape us: What DOES shape us is how we interpret those experiences and things.. what we choose to focus on shapes our emotions, our language, our body physiology: EVERYTHING in our lives is shaped by how we interpret our experiences.
So I am going to be honest with you guys — and really write it out here.. to show you exactly what I learned about fear in Tony Robbins. This is where my mind used to go when I thought about wanting to lose weight and change my body:
If I have the perfect body, if I am skinny, thin and beautiful, then I am more susceptible to hurt and pain. I have been hurt in the past, sexually assaulted, cheated on, lied to multiple times by different people in my life… And for some reason, the pain of those experiences led me to believe that my physical body was to blame. Sure we all go through bad experiences, but the key is using those experiences to make you a stronger more self-loving person. And for a while, that lesson wasn’t with me. I had to go to a Tony Robbins seminar to really discover my fear and how these past experiences shaped where I was in my life. Sure these experiences were rough — but we all go through difficult things.. and we ALL don’t have body image issues. But I did. Because somehow, I interpreted these experiences to believe that being beautiful and looking the way I truly want to would or could somehow contribute to more pain in my life.
I know on paper this makes no sense, but this is how I have lived my life– in fear of being hurt. And somehow I started to believe that by being the chubby girl, I was less likely to be a victim. But i was LIVING like one as a result.
How to Kick Fear in the Butt
You are NOT your past. First and foremost. You may be living the life you are right now because you are holding onto your past, but PAST does not make you YOU. And you can let go of it and move forward.
Step One: Recognize The Fear. I am afraid of being hurt. Plain and Simple. I am afraid of never being good enough. Plain and simple too. But if I sit here and ignore that these are things I am afraid of, it doesn’t do me or my life any justice. In fact, it only makes it worse! Recognizing your fear and acknowledging it keeps life from going crazy and out of your control. Don’t let fear Control your life by ignoring what your fears are. Face them HEAD ON. For me, that meant recognizing that I am scared of being hurt. I say it a lot .. I acknowledge the feeling when it enters my body. “Fear you are there. I can feel you.”
Step Two: Stop Pulling Away From Fear. Tony Robbins did a great demonstration on fear during the seminar. He had a man come on stage to represent fear, and held hands with him. He said, “this is what happens when you try to break away from fear.” And then Tony spent the next few minutes trying to drag him left and right all over the stage. It was EXHAUSTING just to watch it! The point of the exercise was simply this: Don’t run away from fear.. it tires you out and you end up giving up. Here’s what you do instead.
Step Three: Walk With It. Recognize the fear. Recognize that you are scared and take it along on your journey with you. Don’t let it hold you back by dragging away from it as much as you possibly can: You will end up making bad choices based on being afraid! Instead, just go along your journey taking your fear with you.. recognize it is their and move forward with your life.
Ask Yourself These Three Questions: (And Journal Your Answers)
What is it You Truly Want but Can’t achieve?
What Are You Afraid of when it comes to this goal?
What Benefits has living with this fear given you in the past?
Why Be Free Of This Fear NOW?
Want to have fear propel you forward in your health and wellness lifestyle? You should check out my E-Guide: Perfection to Power. It has all the tips and tricks I learned about using emotional wellness to transform your body!
What is Perfection is the Self Improvement blog for the imperfect girl everywhere. Learn to find happiness, feel beautiful, and be confident in who you are. We all deserve to be happy, and we all deserve to be the best version of us. And we all are truly capable of getting there. Because Perfection Is Impossible. Happiness isn’t. See The Self Improvement E-Guide Collection For Your Life Coaching Guides to Change Your Life Today!