A long time ago, I was the most miserable person on the planet. Hard to believe right? But I was. Let me take you back to 2011 when my life was a mess. My marriage was falling apart. I had a husband who was a drug addict. My financial stability was nonexistent: He robbed me of my savings. I was an emotional train wreck. Depressed and an alcoholic. Drugs and sadness were the only way I knew how to cope with what was going on. My life felt like an unpredictable rollercoaster with bad things happening at every turn. I was in so much pain day in and day out, feeling like my life was completely out of my control. And all I wanted to do was stop the ride and get off. Yup. Suicide. Honestly, I was ready to surrender and give up. Because the moments when you feel like giving up can feel so painful, you will do anything to stop it. And I was at my breaking point.
But little did I know that this breaking point moment would become the most pivotal moment in shaping my future. It was the year everything changed for me.
Because when you feel like giving up, that’s exactly the moment when you shouldn’t.
When You Feel Like Giving Up
Have you ever reached a point in your life where things just get so difficult that you feel like life is not worth living? Maybe you have struggled through a serious breakup, a tough financial situation, or a really damaging traumatic experience that left you in pain. Maybe all of those things are happening at once, and you have no idea how to move forward and pick up the pieces of your life.
Whatever it is you are going through, maybe you feel lost – scared and alone and without any hope for a happy future. I’ve been there. And I know it’s scary. But if you push through it, magical things can happen. They did for me.
In 2011 I embarked on an incredible life transformation that took me on a 4 year journey to self love. I completely purged my life of all the negativity and started recreating a new me. I developed new habits, raised my standards for living and found a completely new life that made me happy, confident, and full of love. It took me a long time, but I got there. And thank god. Because now I couldn’t imagine a more wonderful life. When I think back to the person I used to be and the life I had, it almost seems impossible. (My story is here if you want to know more.)
The moments when you feel like giving up are the moments that can truly shape your future. These are the moments where you have a serious choice to make about the direction your lifer is heading in: You can keep living the way you have been, or you can take massive action to completely reshape your future. I chose the second path. And everything in my life changed. Here’s how you can do it too. So when you feel like giving up, take these small steps to start changing your life instead of abandoning it.
Take the wheel and start being in control.
If you find yourself in situations where other people are constantly affecting your ability to be happy, it’s a sign to start doing something different. No one should ever be able to control your happiness but you. So when you feel like giving up, ask yourself how you can stop relying on other people to bring you joy and start creating that joy for yourself. It’s the big important question to start shaping your future for the better and start heading in a new direction. If your on a rollercoaster if emotions and feel sad and frustrated – or mad at the world for all the shitty luck you have in your life – it’s time to put a halt to that bullshit. Stop letting other people dictate the choices you make for your life. Or better yet, stop letting other people make choices for you. When we let others take the wheel on our journey to happiness, we don’t ever really get there. So start driving yourself down that road and stop relying on other people to make you happy.
Detox your life of all the negative
Before you can open the door to more positive joyful experiences in life, you need to first purge all that negativity. You need to make room for what you want by getting rid of what you don’t want. Start riding your life of all the things (and people) that don’t serve you. If an activity doesn’t bring you joy – stop doing it. If you have friends who take advantage of you – get rid of them. When you feel like you are too stressed by too many responsibilities – start clearing out your schedule. Take as much time as you need to make room in your life. When you feel like giving up on your life, start giving up the unhealthy qualities of your life instead. Because the more space you clear, the more true happiness you can create.
Start expecting more and raise your standards.
Have you ever heard the expression, “You don’t get what you don’t ask for?” Well that’s how the universe works my friend. If you are constantly living life with low standards, you are never going to create a wonderful life. After all, if you are coasting by just hoping for “nothing bad to happen,” life is going to be pretty mediocre. The minute you raise your standards and start demanding more from yourself and the people around you in life, the more wonderful life can be. Stop telling yourself it’s selfish to want better things in your life. Because it isn’t. You can’t help other people if you can’t help yourself. And so by raising your standards and redefining what you truly want in your life, you can actually go start creating it.
Refuse to compromise your self-worth.
Learning how to raise your standards is only affective when you develop a high sense of self worth. Its a pretty simple concept. If you don’t love yourself, or if you live without confidence, how can you create an amazing life? And more so, if you don’t have high self worth, how can you expect other people to value you? The truth is how we treat ourselves is the biggest reflection of the quality of life we will create for ourselves. Stop setting for less than you deserve and start demanding more from yourself (and from others.) Build your confidence and develop a strong sense of identity. You can check out this post if you need help with this step.
Most importantly, when you feel like giving up, remember: DON’T.
This is the moment where every aspect of your life can truly change.
You just have to be hungry enough for a better future.
You deserve it.