Lena Dunham’s FB Post Saying Goodbye to Girls is giving me life right now.

Lena Dunham’s FB Post Saying Goodbye to Girls is giving me life right now.

And I need to talk about it. Lena Dunham you are my hero. And not because you wrote this FB post… because quite frankly I’ve been in love with you for a long time now. Seriously. I’m not kidding. I legit  have dreams where you, Lena are my BFF and we are hanging outside a restaurant in central park drinking margaritas and talking about our favorite podcast episodes of This American Life. I live vicariously through her life – who she is and what she has created is such a solid representation of Embracing WHO YOU ARE.  And I am so sad that your beautiful creation is over. Your Facebook Post saying Goodbye to HBO Girls is bringing tears to my eyes.

Lena Dunham’s FB Post Saying Goodbye to Girls HBO

Lena Dunham is a total rockstar. Ever since the first episode of Girls on HBO I have been so obsessed with her ability to be honest and vulnerable about who she is. A lot of people think she is “too much.” And those people are wrong. She is open and honest and sure, naked a lot; but it was for a good reason.  The character she played, Hannah Horvath, was constantly wearing her heart on her sleeve and not giving a shit what other people think. She was trying to find herself in an awkward world where people always pretend to have their shit together. Lena Dunham shed light on the true struggles we face trying to find ourselves in this world.

And I loved that. I loved that about Hannah and I loved Lena Dunham for dreaming up a character who lived life that way. Because whether or not you felt it 100 percent of the time, I guarantee sh was relatable to you on some level.

Lena Dunham Made Me Believe That What I Experienced Growing Up Was Real. And Okay.

HBO Girls was a show I totally resonated with on so many levels. It made me look back on my life experiences and realize that a lot of people go through the struggle of trying to find themselves growing up. When I made mistakes or did embarrassing things, it was okay. Girls allowed me to look back on things I did growing up and things I felt growing up and feel like they were okay. “I wasn’t the only one.”

 

 

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Lena Dunham Facebook Post End of Girls

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Oh.. and if you still don’t think she is awesome you should check out this post

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What is Perfection is the Self Improvement blog for the imperfect girl everywhere. Learn to find happiness, feel beautiful, and be confident in who you are. We all deserve to be happy, and we all deserve to be the best version of us. And we all are truly capable of getting there. Because Perfection Is Impossible. Happiness isn’t. See The Self Improvement E-Guide Collection For Your Life Coaching Guides to Change Your Life Today!

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How to Stop Worrying About What Other People Think [Free Worksheet!]

How to Stop Worrying About What Other People Think [Free Worksheet!]

It’s natural to want to seek approval from other people. But when you are constantly living your life for everyone else and not for yourself, that’s when life starts getting messy (and super depressing.) If you learn how to stop caring what others think, you can create an authentic amazing life for yourself without giving a shit about the mistakes you learn along the way.

Trust me, I’ve been there. I’ve been the girl constantly obsessed with approval. And if you’re reading this post on how to stop worrying about what others think, I’m sure you have been there too.

Have you ever been that girl who worries too much about other people’s opinions?   

-Maybe you told your friends you hooked up with that hot guy at the bar that one time, but never mentioned how that dirty PDA on the dance floor turned into a one night stand at his apartment.

-Or maybe when your mom asked what you did the other night you told her that you “went out for a drink with a friend,” when really you had seven, left your credit card at the bar and threw up in the cab on the way home (sorry mom. This happened once.)

-And okay, maybe sometimes you hold in a fart at the dinner table or pick your nose in the car (when no one is looking of course.)

I don’t know you. I don’t know your life.

But I do know that we all shy away from being 100 percent open about our lives because we don’t want to face judgement.

And we do it for good reason.

Because not everyone needs to see our dirty laundry and smell our gas.

But sometimes that habit of keeping the details of your life private can escalate into a really unhealthy lifestyle; where you are constantly keeping your true-self behind closed doors to avoid criticism.

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Here’s how to tell if it’s time to learn how to stop caring what others think:

-You don’t make a big life decision without thinking about what someone else thinks: your family, your friends, your boyfriend, girlfriend, etc.

-You hide certain passions or personality traits you have because you are afraid other people won’t like you.

-Sometimes you take a really long time making decisions because you get wrapped up in “what will this person or that person  think about this?”

-You rely heavily on what others’ opinions and find yourself asking multiple people for advice.

-You feel the need to defend yourself when other people don’t approve of your life decisions or make negative comments about your life.

If this is you, let’s fix it.

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Learning How to Deal with Negativity the Healthy Way…

You can read my previous post to find out why I decided to stop caring what others think if you want to know more about my own story.

But ever since What is Perfection was born and I “logged in” to the world of social media, I started paying close attention to how other people in the public eye deal with negativity. (Just in case I ever have to deal with it myself.)

It’s frustrating to see how mean people can be when they are hiding behind a computer screen.

But what’s even more frustrating to me is when I see bloggers and social media influencers taking time out of their lives to respond to all of that negative feedback. It’s almost like they feel the need to justify that they have their shit together. And while I can certainly relate to the insecurities behind that, I have learned that what other people think doesn’t matter. Especially when those other people are strangers.

Who knows, maybe one day I’ll feel a strong need to speak out and change my opinion. But for now, I am standing strong: You need to learn how to stop caring what others think.

Because whether you are a famous blogger or a normal girl living her normal unpublicized life – not everyone is going to like you. And you have to just deal with it.

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Here’s How You Stop Caring What Others Think

1.Embrace the fact that you are always being judged. Lets face it. No matter what you are doing in your life someone is going to be judging you. So if you remind yourself of that small simple fact, it’s easier to follow your heart. “Well, I’m gonna be judged anyway, so I might as well do what feels right for me, right?” You might as well how to stop caring what others think so you can just focus on what you think instead.

2. Start believing that not everyone has to like you. You have no idea how liberating this is. Accept it. It’s an important part of learning how to stop caring what others think. Because not everyone is going to like you. Accept the fact that it will happen. And accept the fact that it is okay when it happens. Because check this out: when someone doesn’t like you, do you know what happens? Nothing. Nothing happens. The world doesn’t end. And the sky doesn’t fall. The people who love you don’t suddenly change their mind by popular vote. And those angry mean people don’t spend their lives stalking you and shouting  “I hate your face” chants in your ear. The more you ignore them and just go about your business, the better off you are.

After that, Try these tips..

3.Remind yourself that other people don’t know more about your life than you do. No one walks in your shoes all day but you. No one on this earth is an expert in your life except for you. You are the only one who is a pro when it comes to living your life. And while someone may think a decision is good for you, deep down they don’t have a darn clue. So really learn how to stop caring what others think, by remember that people don’t know what they are talking about. Because they aren’t you. Only you know what’s best for you.

4.Practice your decision making abilities.  See, the more decisions you make in your life, the more you’ll get used to the idea of trusting your gut and learning how to not care what others think about those decisions. It’s what happened to me when I started What is Perfection: I pushed myself into a place where I didn’t have any other choice but to be true to myself. You don’t need a blog to do that, you just need to put yourself in more challenging situations. Check out this post on decision making if you want to know more.

5. Develop Healthy Self Confidence Practices. You can’t grow your confidence if you don’t have the healthy emotional tools to make it happen. learning how to not care what others think isn’t something you can just suddenly wake up and start doing. It requires practice, learning, and healthy emotional development. That’s what the Perfection Program is all about: Giving women the tools for building their self confidence and changing their lives in 30 days. Click here if you want to learn more about how you can start your own self love journey. So stop caring what others think and start caring about yourself!

And if you want to take things a step further, check out this other post on how I learned to stop caring what others think.

And get the guide for reframing your mindset – the journaling worksheet! 

 

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3 Steps to Building Self-Esteem

3 Steps to Building Self-Esteem

Building self-esteem isn’t always easy. Okay, most of the time it’s the hardest thing ever, am I right? But today I am sharing three effective strategies for building self esteem so that you can learn how to do it in a simple easy way.

Three Simple Steps to Building Self-Esteem

Step One: Stop striving for perfection. This is  a real serious first step that you must take in order to build your self worth and grow your confidence. The first step to building self-esteem is really ditching that “all or nothing” approach to feeling good about yourself. You need to recognize that you aren’t perfect. You will never be perfect. Perfect is not an option or a goal. Because Perfection doesn’t exist. So give it up. Once you do, you’ll quickly notice a shift in your outlook.

Have you ever gotten down on yourself because you didn’t achieve a goal you wanted to? Did you ever feel embarrassed by things you’ve done in your life? Do you feel like maybe your past decisions were failures?  That’s the “perfection obsession” talking. Ditch it. Let it go. Say goodbye.

The truth is no matter what you have been through in your life, you can overcome it.  The road to happiness and self-esteem is never perfect, so don’t ever try to make it perfect. Don’t believe? You can read all about my imperfection and what I overcame to build my confidence and self love in my about me page.  If I can do it, you can too.

Step Two: Develop solid self-love practices. This is so important. Developing some sort of self love routine to incorporate into your daily schedule is super important for living a confident life and building self-esteem. Start a gratitude journal if you haven’t already, or try using daily journal prompts for self reflection to help in building self-esteem.

If journaling isn’t your thing, try practicing self love mantras. Find a few self-love phrases that make you feel empowered and receipt them every morning. You can also practice positive self talk by taking a few moments each morning to compliment yourself. Whatever works for you girl. Do it!

Step Three: Educate yourself and look at building self-esteem as a life journey. In order to grow confidence and change how you feel about yourself, you need to prioritize it. You need to look at growing your confidence as a true Priority in your life. If you don’t invest the time and energy (and sometimes the money) into growing self-worth and building self-esteem, you will never do it. So educate yourself, and invest your time into developing the tools you need to grow who you are and what you love about yourself.

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Building Self-esteem made easy: with the Perfection Program

The Perfection Program is a solid place to do that. If you believe you are ready for a change, go check it out.

Oh, and if you don’t feel ready for that big change, check out this free self love journal guide to help you with building self-esteem

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What is Perfection is the Self Improvement blog for the imperfect girl everywhere. Learn to find happiness, feel beautiful, and be confident in who you are. We all deserve to be happy, and we all deserve to be the best version of us. And we all are truly capable of getting there. Because Perfection Is Impossible. Happiness isn’t. See The Self Improvement E-Guide Collection For Your Life Coaching Guides to Change Your Life Today!

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How to Feel More Confident

How to Feel More Confident

It’s the forever unanswered question for so many women out there. Sure, maybe we ask it in different ways, like, “How can I feel more beautiful?” or “How can I feel more comfortable in my skin?” No matter how you phrase it, it’s all boiling down to the same basic longing; the desire for learning how to feel more confident and good about yourself.

In a world where we are constantly struggling to boost our self-esteem, it’s hard to figure out how to feel more confident. That’s probably why you’re reading this post – because you want to know how to feel more confident. Well, all you need is a basic understanding of these simple steps to change how you feel about who you are. So let’s dive in!
how to feel more confident

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How to Feel More Confident- Embrace What You Have.

This is step one in learning how to feel more confident. Because without this first step, you won’t get anywhere. Learning to feel more comfortable in your skin and boost your self-esteem is not about changing who you are.

But I’m guessing maybe you’ve thought that for a while. – Well, nip that belief in the butt right now!

“If I lose weight,” then I will be confident.”

or

“If I got a boob job, then I could feel more confident.”

or how about:

“If I found a boyfriend, then I would finally feel good about myself.”

Any of these questions ring a bell? Sound familiar?

I’ve been there. Trust me. Along my own journey, before I found self love, I was super fixated on all the things I wanted to change about myself. I firmly believed that if I could finally change my body, and my self image, then I would finally end my struggle with how to feel more confident.

It didn’t work that way.

No matter what goals I reached in my life, they never made me feel good about myself the way I wanted them to. No magic lightbulb turned on that suddenly made me find self confidence.

Want to know why?

Because confidence is not something that suddenly sparks the minute you reach a goal or get your idea body: Confidence is a self-love practice that you need to work on every single day of your life.

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So, if you are trying to learn how to feel more confident, your first step should not be changing how you look or how you act. Your first step in learning how to feel more confident is looking at who you are right here and right now.

“What is it about me that I like?”

“What is it about who I am that makes me feel good?”

“How can I embrace those feel good feelings more often?”

When you start developing the emotional tools for feeling good about yourself in the present moment, you open the door to self love now, and the possibility of actually growing that love in the future.

Self love is like gardening: You can’t grow something from nothing. You need to plant a seed first.

 

 Step Two for Learning How to Feel More Confident: Understanding The Feelings that Make up Self-Confidence.

Okay, so you’ve done step one for learning how to be more confident. You’ve asked yourself what you like about who you are right here and now. Great! You’ve planted the seed!

Now you are ready for step two: Understanding what exactly makes self-confidence.

the Four Feels of Confidence how to feel more confident what is perfection

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See this chart? These are the four solid components for creating a better you and feeling more confident you. When you reflect on these individual areas of your life, I am sure you can come  up with several examples to feel good about. Confidence does not come from one specific area of our lives. Confidence comes from building a solid foundation of multiple emotions.

Understanding that confidence does not come from one specific outlet is important: We are diverse human beings with diverse reasons to feel good.

How to Feel More Confident Step Three: Find a Balance

Even if one of these areas of your life seems super important and valuable to you right now, remember this: Balancing your focus on all four of these areas (and not just one) will help you become more confident and happy. If we show love and care for all four areas of our lives with equal attention, then we can become the confident person we deserve to be. So start asking yourself what you can do to find confidence in EACH Place of your life, not just one of these areas. Write it out if it helps!

What Makes Self Confidence

So you’ve got those three steps down: awesome. Way to go girl! Now grab the free self-confidence E-Guide so you can learn more about who you are and how to be more confident!

This E-guide will teach you how to focus on the certain areas of self improvement that you have forgotten about and learn to love yourself all over again! Plus, it’s free!

Want more tips on self improvement? Check out this post: 3 Simple Steps for Building Self-Esteem

 

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What is Perfection is the Self Improvement blog for the imperfect girl everywhere. Learn to find happiness, feel beautiful, and be confident in who you are. We all deserve to be happy, and we all deserve to be the best version of us. And we all are truly capable of getting there. Because Perfection Is Impossible. Happiness isn’t. See The Self Improvement E-Guide Collection For Your Life Coaching Guides to Change Your Life Today!

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Bouncing Back After Gaining Weight

Bouncing Back After Gaining Weight

I have always struggled with my weight, especially when things get tough in life. Some people get acne when they are stressed, I gain weight. That’s just how my body works. When life get’s too busy, too emotional (or too much to handle) I tend to slip away from the healthy lifestyle and jump right back into donuts and french fries. But the truth is, a few days, weeks or months of  not eating right or exercising regularly can really do a number on your body. And bouncing back after gaining weight can be a hard thing. Because no matter how long you’re away from that healthy lifestyle, when you feel ready to get back on track, it’s so easy to feel guilty or down on yourself for all the damage you’ve done during that time off. Am I right?

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Bouncing Back After Gaining Weight is About having the Right Mindset

There are so many lessons to be learned from a little bit of weight gain ladies – And bouncing back from gaining weight is all about the mindset. If you look at gaining weight as a lesson, you can there for feel good about the set back and bounce back from gaining weight much quicker!

What lessons can you learn when you gain weight? Omg SO MANY! Every time I have fallen off the weight-loss wagon and was trying to bounce back, there were so many – lessons like how to deal with stressful situations without turning to food. Or how to keep pushing towards a goal when things get tough. You need to look at these set backs on your journey as an opportunity to grow and better yourself – that way the next time you fall off course, you’ll be able to bounce back even quicker!

Maybe you lost a lot of weight. Yay! But then maybe you gained some of it back recently and feel frustrated. That’s okay! Bouncing back after gaining weight is something all of us have to do on a weight-loss journey. It happens. It’s life.

Gaining the weight back after accomplishing a weight-loss goal does not mean you failed. It just means you have been blessed with the opportunity to learn something new about yourself. To discover yourself again. Life is always changing, and your body and its needs are changing too. Learning moments are the most precious moments we have.. and if you don’t learn from them, you stop growing as a person.

So even when you fall off track, it’s important to remember that you are actually making a huge amount of progress – and if that progress doesn’t effect the scale in the way you like, that’s okay! It doesn’t mean that you aren’t succeeding.. It just means that you need to learn how to appreciate the growth you are experiencing in a different way.

Now… here’s how to get back on track for your healthy lifestyle and weight-loss journey…..

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How to get back on track: Bouncing Back After Gaining Weight Step 1 – Forgive Yourself

The first step in moving forward is really forgiving yourself for whatever damage you’ve done. It’s okay take a few steps backwards, as long as when it is over, you can push yourself forward to keep going. If you don’t forgive yourself for the damage you’ve done, your brief moment of falling off track will just escalade into a lifetime of unhealthy lifestyle.  When you fall off track, you fall off track. It is what it is. There is no time machine to go backwards. You need to accept that moving forward is the only option.

Step 2 of How to Bounce Back after gaining weight – Remembering How Far You’ve Really Come!

It’s really easy to get discouraged about the small amount of weight you have gained, or the tightness in your jeans that just started happening recently, but do you forget to appreciate all of the accomplishments that have happened before that? One little obstacle or set back is so small in the grand scheme of things, that if you truly take a minute to embrace and acknowledge how far you have actually come, you’d be surprised how quickly that sad feeling goes away. Soon you’ll be bouncing back after gaining weight in no time if you just reframe your mind girl!

GET THE FREE GUIDE FOR FEELING POSITIVE WHEN YOU FALL OFF TRACK!

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So go back and look at those photos of you from the moment you started your weight-loss journey – acknowledge how far you have come, and appreciate that even though you’ve had a little set back, you’ve accomplished so much to be proud of already!

How to Get back on your Weight-loss Journey: Bouncing back after gaining weight

 Step 3 – Permanently Remove the Negative Self Talk

My negative self talk served me negatively for a really long time – especially when I had setbacks on my healthy lifestyle journey. When I gained a little weight, I started to say things like, “losing weight is impossible for me,” or “I will never have the body I truly want.” These crazy emotional statements made me feel worse about myself, even though the truth is  I had lost so much weight before that moment that I really should have been proud even if I had a little small amount of recent weight gain.

And all that negative self talk turned into negative actions in my life that totally effected my happiness:

“I feel overweight so I won’t go shopping for clothes like I want to… because I know it won’t make me happy.”

“I want to go to that party, but I don’t want friends to see how much weight I have gained.”

“I want to go talk to that guy or make friends with that group of people, but I feel so uncomfortable with how I look.”

“Sex? Get Naked? In front of someone else? OMG No Way.”

Seee— thoughts are things. And when you think negatively, you start taking really unhealthy steps in your lifestyle that can easily make you feel depressed, sad and unworthy. It is so important to change that attitude as soon as you recognize it because those thoughts effect your inner strength – the inner strength that pushes you to be healthy, make good choices and not give up on your goals completely. And bouncing back after gaining weight is just a necessary step in the process of a long healthy lifestyle journey.

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How to Change Your Perception and Stay Positive When You Fall Off Track

I created this E-Guide in the process of learning how to recover from gaining weight – This e-guide is a free self improvement guide that will walk you through the steps of learning how to overcome whatever obstacles you are facing emotionally to overcome the set backs and jump back into your healthy lifestyle. When you are feeling discouraged,  fill out this free guide as a journaling reflection to start changing your mindset – learning how to feel better about your accomplishments, even if they aren’t accomplishments you can track on the scale.

This E-guide will help you figure that all out, and help you still stay positive on your weight-loss journey, even when you do have a set back. So come grab it. It’s free!

Love is the basis of all positive change and growth…. and this is just an opportunity to fall in love with yourself all over again.

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What is Perfection is the Self Improvement blog for the imperfect girl everywhere. Learn to find happiness, feel beautiful, and be confident in who you are. We all deserve to be happy, and we all deserve to be the best version of us. And we all are truly capable of getting there. Because Perfection Is Impossible. Happiness isn’t. See The Self Improvement E-Guide Collection For Your Life Coaching Guides to Change Your Life Today!

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