I Really Love Today’s Podcast Episode.

I Really Love Today’s Podcast Episode.

Guys.. this is so much right now. I am obsessing over my interview with Riley Beau Gold on the Imperfection in Me Podcast. It was such a freaking honor to interview him.

If you haven’t listened to it. You need to go check it out.  Riley Beau Gold is the founder of Fearless Humans –  which is just as bad ass as it sounds.  His message is that we are all human first – and the human values and rights that we share cross all genders, sexual identities and what not. I love the openness and the real raw vibe of this interview. Just so honored to share it.

 

CHECK OUT THE PODCAST EPISODE HERE

 

This man is beautiful. And he is amazing.

I am so proud of the podcast.

So of course when I got a  hateful man blowing up my Facebook condemning it, I needed to say something.

WATCH THE VIDEO HERE

Seriously… it pains me the people are so judgmental about other people’s live choices.

We all have to walk our own journey. And we should never discriminate against someone because they are on a different path than we are.

 

 

How to Break a Bad Habit Forever

How to Break a Bad Habit Forever

Full disclosure: I have some pretty bad habits up my sleeve. Some that I am holding onto for now, because I am not ready to commit to the step of letting go, and others I have been trying to quit for years. If you’re honest with yourself, I’m sure you could admit to having a bad habit or two no matter how close to perfect you are.

The question is how do we kick butt and remove an unhealthy habit from our lifestyle? And how do we find the passion and drive to stay committed to quitting a bad habit?

How to Quit a Bad Habit

PART ONE: Steps to Getting Rid of a Bad Habit

Step One: Acknowledging your bad habit it is holding you back. Ask yourself this important question: “How is this bad habit negatively effecting my lifestyle?” When I was a heavy drinker, for example, I needed to recognize that drinking too much was really preventing me from living the life I truly deserved. I knew this. But I guess  I didn’t want to admit it. So I made myself admit it. I got out a pen and paper and I made a list.

Set Two: Make a list of all the reasons your unhealthy habit is negatively influencing you. I’ll give you an example from my personal life just to help you on your own self discovery process. I used to be a heavy drinker. How did I change that? First, I recognized that my drinking was negatively affecting me. Then I listed all the reasons how it was actually doing that. When I was drinking heavily,  I was feeling behind on my weight-loss and healthy goals. I was also holding myself back from emotional balance because whenever I was drinking heavily, I had a hard time relaxing and being present. Most importantly (the biggest eye opener of them all) my heavy drinking was effecting my relationships with others: I would fight a little more often with my boyfriend and my sisters when I was under the influence. And that was a big no no for me. Making that list really made me want to give up drinking. I couldn’t deny the truth when it was staring me in the face.

Step Three: Figuring out exactly what that bad habit provides you. It’s true though, we all get something positive from our bad habits. And we need to acknowledge that too. You cannot get rid of a bad habit without replacing it with a good one. So you need to ask yourself what that bad habit offers you and how it enhances your life. Do you smoke to relax? Maybe you drink to have a good time? Or perhaps you are an overeater who uses food to cope with anxiety. Whatever it is – figure it out.

Step Four: Replacing your unhealthy bad habit with a new healthy habit. It’s easy to pass up the idea of quitting a bad habit when we program our brains to think that the bad habit we love is actually adding value to our lives. But once we get real deep and honest with ourselves, we can recognize how that bad habit enhances our lives and then figure out a new healthy habit to replace it with. Maybe instead of drinking to relax you will go for a walk or meditate. Maybe instead of overeating to cope with anxiety you read a book or paint your nails. Whatever works for you is what you should do.

PART TWO: Finding The Drive to Change NOW.

Step Five: Discover the reasons why you must change this bad habit now as opposed to later on in life. Have you ever known someone who says they want to change but they never do? There is a reason so many people put off the idea of making a positive change for their lives: They don’t have the motivation to make that change NOW. Instead, they just keep putting it off. How many times have you wanted to start a healthy lifestyle and kept telling yourself, “oh I’ll start on Monday.” Or maybe you were trying to quit indulging on sweet foods but kept telling yourself that the holiday’s were around the corner, “Why not wait until after then?” Find the momentum to change your lifestyle NOW. Ask yourself, “What will happen if I don’t make this change NOW in my life? as opposed to two years from now, or next year or next week?” There has to be something about your situation now in life that will give you the urge and desire to take massive action TODAY. Find the reasons.. reflect on those reasons.. and push yourself forward.

Step Six: Implement new healthy habits. Remember how I said bad habits stick around because we get something good from them? What do you get from your bad habit right now? You have to be getting something good or else you wouldn’t be keeping that bad habit around! Does your bad habit relax you? Maybe it gives you something to do and keeps you busy when you are bored. Perhaps your bad habit has become such a routine part of your life that you don’t even remember what that good feeling is that you got from it. Dig deep. Figure it out. You can’t give up a bad habit without replacing it with something new. That’s just the truth. If you don’t find new ways to feel good, you’ll just give up a bad habit, feel bad, and then go back to it! So don’t do that.

 

All of these Steps and more for sustainable bad habit kicking are outlined in my free E-Guide. Come grab it by clicking the button below and start making positive changes to your life today!

badhabitsquittinge-guide

 

 

Everything You Need to Know About Hiring a Life Coach

Everything You Need to Know About Hiring a Life Coach

I’m not just a life coach. I have a life coach. And no – that doesn’t make me a fraud. It makes me a real deal human being who believes in what she does and the value it has- so much so – that she actually invests in herself.

Would you buy an iPhone from someone who told  you how awesome it is but he didn’t actually own one? Don’t think so.

Like Shoshana on Girls, I have my own “crack spirit guide.”  My life coach is freaking awesome. I love him to pieces. He has seriously changed my life. (I’ll get into that in a minute. But first, real deal talk.)

When I started my self love journey, I decided I needed to take massive action to change my life and I couldn’t do it with a therapist or a psychologist. (I ha tried that FOR SO MANY YEARS BEFORE.)

Here’s why I gave up on that:

* THERAPY FAILED ME *Western psychotherapy – the psychologists visits and therapy couch sessions – didn’t work for me. All they did was remind me I had a ton of messy problems. I never learned how to get unstuck in therapy – all it did was remind me that I was sad, unhappy and stuck.

And stirring up shit doesn’t make shit go away. It just makes the water in the pool of life feel a lot more dirty.

So I stopped swimming in circles and finally got out of that old cycle of unhappiness. And I found a system to fix my life and rebuild my happiness. 

I stopped stirring up the crap and started creating a system to dramatically change my life.

I let go of limiting beliefs and was finally able to achieve my goals.
-I quit my abusive unhealthy relationships and found new love.
-I organically developed my self worth and emotional education so I knew exactly what I deserved, wanted and was capable of.

Now I smile all the freaking time. And the water on this side of the pool is crystal clear baby!

And I did that with a life coach. My awesome amazing fantastic life coach.

Today – I am so freaking inline with my mission, my life, and my dream – and it all happened because I took a big step to invest in my future and stat finding a guide to help me do what I didn’t know how to do.  So let’s talk about it.

-Hiring a Life Coach is not like hiring a therapist.

Western Psychology is all about rehashing the pain of your life over and over again hoping you will heal it eventually.  “One day, you will wake up happy,” is usually the plan. This is not what life coaching is about.  No ill will to people who have therapists, in fact – a lot of my clients actually do both! Having someone to talk things through with is amazing! And if it helps you, don’t shy away from it. But it’s important to get real about the difference  here: When you go into a life coaching program – be prepared to take massive action. Life coaching is for people who feel hungry for that big change in their lives and are willing to do what it takes to be guided into a new big life change. So while therapy is about healing, life coaching is more about getting the results you want to live the life you have been hungry for.

-Be ready for homework assignments.

The best coaches provide you homework and personal development assignments. So take notes during your calls and get ready for some serious self reflection.

-Commit for at least three months. 

It may feel like a big investment, but get into the journey and be serious about it by committing for at least 3 months straight. It will solidify any work and progress you make with your coach so that when you are done, you don’t feel lost or unprepared for staying committed to the changes you made.

-Find someone who you relate to and feel comfortable with. 

I lay it all out there for my coach – I get real about everything, with no holding back. The more I am open and honest, the more amazing breakthrough lightbulb moments I have. Having a coach who you feel you can be open and honest with is key.

-The certification doesn’t matter  It’s about Connection.

When I hired my own coach, I never asked, “Oh where did you get your certification?” Because it didn’t matter to me. I knew from the minute  I started listening to his podcast that he had so much knowledge about life, happiness and love that I was hungry to absorb. I saw someone who was doing what I was trying to do, and I knew I could learn from him. That was all the credibility I needed to feel comfortable making a decision to hire him.

There are so many life coaches out there, and not all of them are the same. Some coach with a masculine energy, some are more spiritual woo woo. There are some that are more focused on motivation than they are massive action. It’s important that when you go into your “search to find a life coach,” that you make sure you truly connect with the person you are working with. The more you connect and relate to that person, the more you will be comfortable putting yourself in a vulnerable place, opening up and getting clear about your goals. It is all about trust. The more you trust your coach, the more amazing results you will get.

-Be honest with your coach and yourself about what you want.

Get ready for some serious self reflection and inner work. The greatest life coaches get you speaking a new inner language and teach you how to become more aware of what you want and what you are needing. That inner language work is super important so make sure you are ready for it.

-Get ready to let go of limiting beliefs. 

If you don’t go into the journey ready to let go of your old mindset, you won’t get the most out of your experience. It’s time to start thinking differently! The more open you are to changing the way you think, the bigger and better your coaching experience will be!

-Don’t go into it unless you feel ready to make a massive change.  

Life coaching is about transforming your life. There are some people out there who feel really stuck and unhappy with where they are, but they aren’t quite ready to take that big massive leap and make changes in their lives. So before I take on a client, I always try to figure out whether the person is “emotionally ready.”

I am very very careful about who I take on as a client, and for good reason – I am just as serious about being a coach as I am about getting results for my clients. Some coaches don’t have a screening process though. There are a lot of people who will just try to take your money even when they know in their gut that you aren’t quite committed to the change.

The best thing you can do is to find a coach that you feel has the same morals as you do. Someone who values honesty, truth, vulnerability and trust.

Listen to your gut. And if your gut is telling you it’s right – run with it. Don’t let fear hold you back

-Find a coach that offers a package with 1:1 calls, and direct-mail contact.

I always offer my clients direct contacts for me so they can follow up when they need to and that way I know they are feeling safe along the way. Make sure you have that in a coach.

-Be prepared to get nervous before you start your journey.

A lot of my clients come in nervous. They don’t know what to expect, they don’t know what the journey will hold, and so yeah they get a little bit of the butterflies. It’s totally normal. If your gut is telling you that you are ready for this change – that is ALL you need. You don’t need to know HOW you will do it – that is what your coach is there for.

-Be ready to change your beliefs about money, love, and success.  

In my unhappy life way back when, I believed that money was this thing that was always scarce, that I would struggle to get and spend years trying to save. Boy was I wrong. That mindset only left me feeling more stuck, more discouraged and more “broke and cheap” than I ever wanted to be.

Hiring a life coach, investing in myself, buying programs for personal development – these were things I used to think were a waste of money or a “gamble” of my funds. In fact, it was jut the opposite. Investing in a life coach total shifted the energy of the universe for me. The minute I started placing value in myself – fighting to invest in my future (even at times when I couldn’t afford it) I was telling the universe I was so serious about making changes.

Ever since the first step, there have been a million steps. I keep investing, keep growing, and keep feeling happier and more fulfilled in my life (which honestly is the whole point of living isn’t it?) And I am so far from that broke cheap lifestyle I used to live.

Be prepared to have a shift in your lifestyle, your money, love and success vibes. I see so many of my clients going from a place of feeling lost and broke to completely transforming their financial state. It’s ALL possible.

Believe in the change and the journey you are on.

Having a life coach/ a business coach/ a personal development coach/ a crackspirit guide like shoshana on HBNO Girls did, whatever the F- you want to call it – it is the biggest bad ass amazing fantastic unicorn freaking awesome game changing thing you can do for your life.

I can’t say enough amazing things about it. It changed my business, my life, my career, my everything.

IT IS WHY I DO WHAT I DO.

Take the freaking leap. Do it.

Because if you see someone doing what YOU want to do and being successful at it – they hold the secret. And they are 100 percent willing to share it <3 you are legit just 2mm away from creating that life you deserve. SO FREAKING CLOSE.

The Journey of Life – Being happy when you have no idea what’s next

The Journey of Life – Being happy when you have no idea what’s next

I used to be the girl who needed a plan for everything. I needed to know exactly what I was doing and when I would be doing it. To me, that was what “having your shit together,” meant. All successful people have a plan for life and achieving their dreams right? I mean – if you don’t have a strategy and live life with zero game plan then your a super lazy loser right?

I mean.. this is what I thought. This was my mindset. For a long, long time.

Take my career as a CBS News producer for example. The minute I knew I wanted to be a producer, I did everything and anything I could to come up with a “master strategy” to get to my goal.

“First I’m going to do really really good in school and get a degree in journalism.” 

“Then I am going to get three amazing solid internships to put on my resume (not one, not two, but three. Must have three.)” 

“Next I am going to find my mentor. A solid mentor to guide me.” 

“Then I am going to find the perfect network and get that dream job I deserve.” 

Master plan complete. That became my roadmap to follow for the next four years.

“This master plan will get me to my goal in life. Then I will feel successful,” I thought.

Did I achieve that goal with my masterplan? You bet your ass I did. But my plan quickly turned into a master disaster.

Yes I knew exactly what  I wanted, and yes I figured out exactly what I had to do to get there. But then I got there.. and I felt unhappy, lost, and really unfulfilled.

Something was missing. This goal of mine did not provide me all those happy feelings I wanted it to.  – I felt so incredibly lost.

“Holy shit. Now I need a new plan. What’s my new plan?”

I had no plan.

“How the heck do you make a plan when you don’t know what your end goal is?” 

“Holy shit… am I that messy lazy unsuccessful girl now? What the heck happened to me?” 

I had no idea what to do.

I didn’t have a plan that felt safe and secure. There wasn’t an end result anymore that was specific and crystal clear… In fact I had no idea what I wanted in my life.. All I knew was “I just want to be happy… and I am not happy here in my life right now.” 

Realizing how uncertain my future was felt like being hit with a ton of bricks. Not only did it hurt, but it was super scary.

Giving up control and admitting I had no master plan to make a big change in my life was SOOOOOO not in my wheel house. 

But putting myself in that position and challenging myself to learn how to embrace that uncertainty was probably the best thing I ever did.

It helped me become an expert in what made me happy.

And it drastically changed my life for the better.

I am 100 percent who I am today because of that moment when I had zero clue who I was.

Here’s what I learned…..

 

Not knowing what’s ahead and not having your shit together are two different things.

For the longest time I thought that “soul searching” was a term unsuccessful people used when they failed at things. It meant you were a flake who couldn’t be responsible and commit to a big girl grown up lifestyle. Walking away from a career meant you weren’t dedicated or committed or a hard worker. And being unable to stick to a job you worked so hard to attain meant that you were someone who just gave up.

This is all bull shit. That old saying “what is right is not always popular, and what’s popular is not always right”  kept me focused on recognizing that I wasn’t a failure. Just because society led me to believe I need to go to college for four years to land a job I would have for the rest of my life doesn’t mean that is RIGHT. And honestly, it’s boring when I think about it. Life is not meant to be this straight and narrow path to security. It is about living adventurously and creatively  (at least for me.)

And just because 90 percent of the world out there is living the 9-5 for a 401k and a stable income, does not make that the perfect way to live life. And just because I am not doing that doesn’t mean I don’t have my shit together. You can totally not know what’s ahead and be successful. Don’t tell yourself you aren’t an achiever just because you are living in the unknown right now. The unknown is amazing… which leads me to lesson number two:

Uncertainty is scary, but spectacular.

I was really scared to walk away from my career. “Oh my god I am going to be homeless,” was my first thought. But when I got really clear about it, I did have some serious fears about closing that chapter of my life and some serious lingering questions about my decision.

“What if this is a mistake? What if I don’t stay here and then struggle financially? What if I fail at whatever else I try?  What if I live unhappy for the rest of my life?”

Surrendering to that uncertainty was the biggest boldest step I made for myself… it made me see that life is not about having control. When I tried to control my life I had an unhappy job,  a large list of bills and a small bank account. Sure I had “success” But I was miserable. My emotional stability was in the toilet, my relationships were suffering, and I felt truly stuck in my life.

Once I surrendered to the uncertainty and decided to pursue my path of What is Perfection, everything changed. I now live in a house I own with my finance and get to be creative and inspired every day. I love my relationships and I feel truly grateful for my life every single day.

You tell me which life sound better?

When you feel uncomfortable with not knowing, it’s because you have trust issues / insecurities.

I didn’t want to give up control in my life and surrender to the universe because I was scared the universe wouldn’t have my back. But as Gabby Bernstein says – the universe always has your back. And she’s right. When you do things for the right reasons, there is zero way you can end up unhappy. I swear it. If I left my job because I was just tired of working and wanted to sit on the couch all day and eat bonbons… well… I’d probably not be rewarded by the universe. But I didn’t leave my career for those reasons. I left because I knew I deserved better, I was hungry for more, I felt unfulfilled and I knew I had a greater purpose in life.

I needed to trust that if I was doing things with a good heart, good things would happen.

Learning to surrender to that and trust the process of uncertainty forced me to believe in my worth – “I am deserving of this growth, worthy of this change, and a greater power will protect me and guide me on this journey.” Hard to say that when you have trust issues and carry insecurities about yourself right?

I needed to learn how to let go of that and grow my self worth. Once I did, it changed everything. We all do.

Anything amazing and truly fulfilling comes with a huge amount of risk. Be the dare devil for your life.

There has never been a risk I have regretted later on. Because every single risk I have taken in life involved me listening to my gut instincts.  And if your gut is telling you to do something – you won’t regret it. I promise.

xoxox

 

 

When you want to be a brand new you….

When you want to be a brand new you….

The Brand New Me online course starts in FOUR days…

And it has me thinking about my own journey to self-love..the moment I made a decision to change my life….

Trust me… it wasn’t a small project. I was financially bankrupt, finally out of an unhealthy relationship, lost on my own for the first time, about 60 pounds over weight and so super fed up with every area of my life.

I knew I deserved better and that life wasn’t supposed to be something you “just settled for.” So I decided I was going to do everything in my damn power to create the life I truly deserved.  A life that made me HAPPY.  A life that I could feel appreciative of and love, and take pride in.

That meant I needed to do a lot of changing inside myself.

I had to overcome a lot of limiting beliefs….  stop feeling like a failure, insecure, and worthless and start taking massive action.  I needed to let go of letting other people control my destiny – what they thought of me and what they labeled me as in my life.  I had to discover the tools for changing my emotional state in an instant, start growing my confidence and stop constantly failing my goals over and over and over again.

Basically I had A LOT to learn. And yes, in the beginning all of the things I wanted felt impossible.

Confidence. Happiness. Full self-love.  Healthy relationships. True Love. A stable non chaotic life. A body I was proud of. A healthy lifestyle I enjoyed.

Guess what. I got all of it. It happened. For REAL.

If you are the WIP Girl out there who is still struggling to change her life… the girl who can’t feel good about herself.. the girl who knows she deserves better but can’t figure out HOW to make that change happen…

Get off the hamster wheel gorgeous girl. Make a decision that you deserve better for yourself. Stop setting and start striving. Set your goals and get clear about EXACTLY what you want. And then put on your super girl costume and freaking fight for it girl!

1.Decide you deserve better then the way you have been living.

2. Start believing that you *and only you* have the power to change this.

3. Take massive massive action to create your dream life.

 

The Brand New Me six week online course is starting in four days.. our girls are prepping and preparing for their amazing journeys – setting goals and visualizing what they want to change about their lives….

 

And there is still time left to enroll.

Check out the Brand New Me Course Details here

Everything about this course is focused on showing you how to drastically transform your life, find self confidence and be the version of you that you have been longing to be.

If you read my story about where I was prior to being a life coach and the leader of What is Perfection and the WIP Girl community, you know that my life was a rock bottom rollercoaster disaster. Drugs, Abuse, Eating disorders, Financial disasters, suicide attempts. ALL of it is in my “before WIP resume.”

But guess what? That is NOT me any more. I stopped failing myself years ago. And four years later I have put everything I know into this six week program to help catapult you into that amazing beautiful life you deserve.

There are still 4 Days left to enroll in the Brand New Me Six week online course.

And if you are that girl out there struggling to finally be that version of yourself that you know is in there… go fight for her.

Because remember: Where you are, is NOT where you have to be.