My First Time With A Straight Man… In Sephora

My First Time With A Straight Man… In Sephora

Dear Sephora:

I am coming out of the closet: I prefer women.

There is something about being approached by a beautiful woman all dolled up in your store, rocking that gorgeous Kat Von D eyeliner, that makes me feel safe and excited the same time.

I’m not exactly experienced. I am looking for a woman to guide me. So when I walk into Sephora and scope out the makeup expert with the perfectly contoured face and sexy lipliner, I instantly feel warm inside.

“Do you need help with anything?” she will ask.

“Yes. Make me beautiful.” – (That’s my sexy pickup line, in case you are wondering.)

Yup. I prefer women. And I don’t mean that in a sexual way. I mean it in a “Help me pick out the best 42 dollar eyeliner” sort of way.

So when my boyfriend and I walked into Sephora this weekend and a straight man approached us, things got real awkward real quick.

“Do you need any help?” He asked.

I just stood there trying to jumble my words together to form a sentence.

(How do I tell this nice man I prefer women?)

AWKWARDD PAUSE.

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I realize in today’s day and age, it isn’t exactly appropriate to discriminate against someone based on their gender or sexual orientation. Okay, correction, it never really was appropriate at any time. Period.

But how can I possibly get the best makeup advice from a man who doesn’t wear any? And how do I tell him that?

So there I stood next to my boyfriend in the store, trying to find the words to politely decline this man’s offer based on my own Sephora-Sexual Orientation.

It felt more awkward than if a man at a bar asked to join us in the bedroom for a little rendezvous. “No sorry, ladies only.”

“I um… think I’m going to need someone else to help me?” I said to him. But I sort of phrased it as a  question because I had no idea how the heck to say this the right way.

He laughed.

“Sorry, is that not appropriate to say? I don’t really know how to say that I need guidance on makeup, from a woman and not a man. You aren’t really experienced in wearing any!”

He laughed again.

Then he told me his wife loves the discount he gets.

Sephora What is Perfection

So I tried to go along with it and let the straight man help me. After all, men are known for walking into a store, getting what they need and just leaving. Quick and easy shopping.  So since I had Matt with me, I was in a rush already. I didn’t want to take too much time in Sephora anyway.

I didn’t drag my boyfriend there so he could spend hours watching me get dolled up in new shades of Bobby Brown. Seriously. I did want to get in and out of there quickly. Matt needed new cologne, and I needed a new concealer to cover up my blogging-life eye-bags. It was a simple trip, so why not give the makeup guy a try?

But even though I tried to be open to it, my shopping experience didn’t feel right. I felt so insecure and unsure of the items I was putting in my bag. I didn’t feel trusting in his advice on the latest products or his reasons why I should buy a concealer crayon instead of a tube.

Is that my own incredibly naive bias? Or is that real life normal girl thinking? Am I allowed to feel insecure about a man giving me makeup advice when he has no real experience in wearing makeup? Or maybe he does have experience, and I just have no idea. Maybe he dresses up on the weekends or is in the process of becoming trans. I HAVE NO CLUE.

But what I do know is that I felt very bad for feeling the way I did.

Am I allowed to politely decline getting help from someone based on their gender or their sexual orientation?

I want to know what you think on this….

Is it okay?

Because I’m still not sure I know the answer to that question.

And I wish I did.

I left Sephora with some beautiful new concealer and a beautiful bag of new goodies for my face. So I guess it was a win.

The Sephora guy shook my hand goodbye before I left.

“So… how was your first time with….?” he wanted to know how he performed of course.

This time I laughed.

“Yes. My first time with a straight man was wonderful thank you.”

I just was wishing it was a woman the whole time.

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Natural Skin Care Tips for Feeling Beautiful

Natural Skin Care Tips for Feeling Beautiful

Every time the summer ends and winter rolls around, life starts feeling cold, dry and itchy. Literally. The cold weather and change in season makes my skin fickle and a little more sensitive than usual. Having a solid go to survival practice for treating my skin in the winter season is essential for feeling beautiful. So today I wanted to share some of those awesome natural skin care tips so you can have that beautiful glow no matter what season!

 

natural skin care tips What is Perfection

Natural Skin Care Tips

The Simple Natural Skin Care Tips for Self-Care

Natural Beauty Tip One: Don’t use too many products. I never realized how important that was until I started getting compliments on my skin! I don’t use a lot of products on my face or body (actually I hardly use any.) And even when I do, I try to keep those products as natural as possible. But if you do need to use chemically based products, I always recommend keeping it basic. Don’t use too many different kinds in one week. Keep things as simple as possible.

Natural Beauty Tip Two: Keep A Routine. I make it a point to have some sort of natural skin care treatment on my face at least once a week. Adding that to my routine keeps my care consistent  and I don’t forget to treat myself. Every night I do something special for my skin – either moisturize with a coconut oil, exfoliate with a sugar scrub, or reduce my puffy eyes with a little face mask.

Natural Beauty Tip Three: Don’t Just Treat Your Face. Treat Your whole body. This is really important on my list natural skin care tips because without treating my whole body, I wouldn’t get that full effect glow for feeling confident and beautiful. Whatever I do to my face, I always try to do something consistent to the rest of my body. If I am exfoliating my face, I’ll dry brush my legs and arms. If I am trying to moisturize, I am sure to do it from head to toe. It gives my confidence an extra boost!

Natural Beauty Tip Four: Moisturize in the most natural way possible. I am always using coconut oil to treat my skin and moisturize regularly. You can read all about it in this post. The most natural moisturizer is best for keeping your pores clean and healthy.

natural skin care tips What is Perfection

Natural Skin Care Recipes and Tips – More!

Okay… now the fun stuff. RECIPES AND HOW TO TIPS!!

These are my go-to favorite natural skin care recipes on my list of go to natural skin care tips. These are in my back pocket at all times!

Dry Brushing How To 

DIY Sugar Scrub 

DIY Grapefruit Cellulite Scrub

Homemade Body Wash Recipe 

Detox Bath Recipe 

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Getting Away, My Trip Upstate

Getting Away, My Trip Upstate

Well hello strangers! If it seems like I haven’t posted in two weeks it’s because…well.. I haven’t! Things have been so nuts for me, a ton of self discovery moments and realizations that happened recently and  I cannot wait to share it all on the blog. Truthfully, I felt really bad about stepping away from my writing the last two weeks, but it really did me some good. I came back wit some serious mental clarity and a ton of laser focus. So yay!

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About two weeks ago I started feeling like I was unraveling. Responsibilities in my social life and family life got to be a bit overwhelming for me. Matt was having surgery, we had a family vacation planned… I haven’t been around my mom or sisters for extended long periods of time in a LONG TIME so I was getting a bit emotionally overwhelmed by the thought of our trip. So between  all that personal stuff and running our coaching group for the Perfection Program, something had to give. Unfortunately, that something was posting on the blog, which I LOVE to do, and it made me sad to not do it. But the truth is it is also a big time consuming part of running What is Perfection. So I needed to take a break. I needed to get back to my roots and focus on just being myself – away from the blog.

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So two weeks ago I grabbed a cozy corner of the Long Island Ferry and relaxed with a cocktail on my way to my parents house where we would leave from in the morning to head upstate. It was an odd feeling.. I was excited about the fun time we were going to have, but I was also feeling incredibly guilty about taking the time off from blogging. Would I lose my focus entirely? Would my readers suddenly disappear? What would happen if I just never wanted to write ever again? It’s a skill that takes practice after all, so what if I wasn’t practicing enough? What if this break was totally the wrong thing to do?

So let’s talk about success and “taking a break” because this is a huge issue. Whether your in the corporate world or not, there is always a slight pressure to NOT take off work right? And when you do take off don’t you ever feel a little bit guilty? Maybe you’re like me and you suddenly get that total anxiety of failure – like… the time off means your slacking and you shouldn’t slack. Am I right? Know what I’m taking about?

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I have been pushing so hard to be the best I can possibly be for the brand and for my mission here at WIP, which has been an awesome adventure, but has definitely taken a toll on me at times. I always feel like I am not working hard enough and end up losing sight of what was most important: happiness. Taking a two weeks off to go upstate with my family was a great decision. I was able to do some intense soul searching for myself while hiking the beautiful trails in the parks of the finger lakes.. and I got to enjoy time with the ones I love who I truthfully don’t get to see enough of. That’s happiness guys. That’s what’s important. Jobs are great, success is awesome… but without happiness and making memories all you have is a little lonely life. And that’s no fun.

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I started What is Perfection back in October, when I left my job at CBS News and decided it was about damn time I started pursuing my true calling: Telling my own important stories instead of someone elses. Slowly, I became so focused on being the best I could be for my brand that I actually wasn’t living much of a life at all! I was sitting at the computer 24/7 planning, preparing and stressing myself out over not doing enough. Well… Enough of that guys. I’m done. No more being perfectly obsessed with my career. Having ice-cream every once in a while doesn’t make you fat, so why should having fun every once in a while make you unsuccessful? It doesn’t!

Life is about balance.. Finding that time in between busy schedules to have fun and create memories. And I am so grateful for that lesson.

And the millions of others I learned these last two weeks! — All on the blog soon!

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What is Perfection is the Self Improvement blog for the imperfect girl everywhere. Learn to find happiness, feel beautiful, and be confident in who you are. We all deserve to be happy, and we all deserve to be the best version of us. And we all are truly capable of getting there. Because Perfection Is Impossible. Happiness isn’t. See The Self Improvement E-Guide Collection For Your Life Coaching Guides to Change Your Life Today!

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I Auditioned for The Bachelor…

Never, ever, ever in my life did I think I would audition for a reality TV show. Let alone go to a bachelor audition. But I did!

Because somehow, under the influence of nearly 20 girl friends, I was convinced that I should audition to be a contestant on The Bachelor. So there was an open casting call in NYC. And I went. My first ever bachelor audition experience was crazy!

And even my aunt called me and said I should go to the casting call. How come out of nowhere EVERYONE THINKS I SHOULD BE ON THE BACHELOR?

bachelor audition story What is Perfection

My Bachelor Audition

Going to my first ever casting call for the bachelor

So, I wasn’t going to go at first. My first reason for not going was, “I can’t, I have rehearsal.” But when my stage manager texted me that our rehearsal got moved to a different night, I took it as “the sign” to go.

Then I did a photo fashion show with a group of girl friends to help me figure out the perfect outfit. I got my hair blown out, got my nails done, and perfected my winged liner.

As I sat on the Long Island Railroad, I had many thoughts running through my head:

“This is hilarious. I am going to a bachelor audition.”
“They’d never even cast me.”
“But what if they did?”
“OMG what if I’m ‘crying girl?'”
“OH MY GAWD THEYRE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE ME LOOK LIKE WEIRD DISNEY FREAK GIRL.”
“Don’t bring up Disney, Gabrielle.”
“I really hope there’s wine at this thing.”

HERE I GO. I’M WALKING TO ABC STUDIOS TO BE WEIRD DISNEY FREAK GIRL ON THE BACHELOR.

If you’ve ever watched any reality tv show, you’ll often hear someone say, “I’m not here to make friends.” Hey, I like friends. Maybe I can make some friends at this shindig. Would the girls be bitchy and stand offish? Would they look at my face and just know that I am crying girl or Disney-freak girl. It turns out everyone I met was so sociable, nice and BEAUTIFUL! Why are there this many beautiful, single girls in NYC?! Guys, get your SHIT together, you’re about to lose us to the next Bachelor!

Well I got very lucky and showed up about 30 minutes early and was in, what appeared to be the ABC dining area, by 6 pm. I assume it was the dining area because I looked like the ABC Commissary in Disney’s Hollywood Studios. God dammit, I’m being weird Disney girl.

So here’s the run down of how a Bachelor audition works:

Step 1: Walk through metal detector.

Step 2: Pick up application as everyone behind the table tells you look so beautiful BECAUSE THEY KNOW YOU ARE WEAK. There will be tons of pens on the table that say THE BACHELOR. Hold onto this. Cherish this. This is may be the closest thing you get to actually being on The Bachelor

Step 3: Walk over to man in suit and get your photograph taken. I had to write my name and phone number on a white board and pose with it while they took my picture (why didn’t I bring my head shots?!)

bachelor audition story What is Perfection

Step 4: Fill out the said application for bachelor audition. There were some pretty normal questions on there. They asked questions about my hobbies, interests, how many serious relationships I’ve had and why they didn’t work out, my occupation, what I look for in a guy, and why I want to be on the Bachelor. Throw THE BACHELOR pen in your bag discretely.

bachelor audition story What is Perfection

Step 5: Attend a middle school birthday party and play musical chairs with all the nice girlfriends you just met. Literally. We just sat around a table and moved from one chair to the next, waiting to be called for a face-to-face interview. Why isn’t there a better system than this?! During this time though I got to chat with more girls, add a few on Facebook, and got some compliments on my Kylie lip kit. Thanks, ladies!!

Step 6: Pretend you’re on reality television. Once musical chairs were over, I got called up to hand in my application to a woman named Lauren. Lauren hooked up a microphone to my dress, had me look in the camera and say my name, age, and where I’m from. It took me back to the days of chat rooms (ASL?). Once again I got to hold a white board with my name and phone number on it. Then Lauren asked me questions very similar to the ones in my application packet. I explained my job as a speech-language pathologist, my passion for fitness, and my past relationships. On the topic of fitness, Lauren asked what I do.

Gabby: “I actually started a fitness Instagram a few years ago and it’s grown tremendously. I’m studying personal training so I can go in the direction of online training programs!”

Lauren: “Wow that’s cool! How many followers do you have?”

G: *bashfully* “Um, 26K…”

L: “Oh my GOD!”

I think that just helped me.

My final question was why I wanted to be on the Bachelor.

Um, because real life men suck? Because tinder is awful?

G: “Well, I haven’t had a serious relationship in 4 years, and just no one’s swept me off my feet. I think it’s time to try something different and exciting!”

*MIC DROP*

bachelor audition story What is Perfection

And with that it was a handshake, a “good luck” from Lauren, and a quick exit. I noticed as I left the line wrapped around the block. Thank goodness I came early!

So here’s my advice if you ever want to go to a bachelor audition: Dress comfortably. Doll yourself up. Arrive early. And just be yourself!! Because even if you don’t get on the show, it’ll make a great story to tell your friends and family. And maybe your therapist.

P.S. There was no wine at this thing.

How To Have An Awesome Weekend Every Weekend.

How To Have An Awesome Weekend Every Weekend.

As I am writing this post, my boyfriend Matt is sitting on the bed next to me playing this crazy wrestling match game on playstation or something. I don’t really know why he likes it or what’s so great about it, but it’s his thing. And I totally respect that. Because weekends are made for just that – doing your thing… Whatever the heck it is. And a true real weekend means spending your free time not giving a flying fairy what other people want you to do or what work will be like on Monday.. or what chores you have to do or what bills have to be paid. Weekends are for not worrying, not stressing, and just being lazy AF.

Am I right?

Uh.. yeah… I wish.

This is the real world… the real world where you have boring-ass adult responsibilities. Forget pancakes and tea in bed. This is the world where Saturdays basically start with you scarfing down some quick granola bar as you run out the door half hung over and try to get to the bank just as it opens, just so you can go grocery shopping while avoiding a crowd and making it home in time to get three loads of laundry in.

If you went out on Friday night, congratulations.. you have exercised all your “fun” for the weekend. But by the end of your Saturday (which you have spent adulting the crap out of yourself) sure your Friday night hangover is gone, but you can’t stomach the idea of doing anything that requires energy. So maybe you just spend the evening at home watching a Scandal and falling asleep with your cat.

Then Sunday comes and we are all like, shyyyyt. Where did the weekend go??

Now am I right?  Ring a bell?

My weekends used to sound like this.. except I’m allergic to cats.. I would pass out on the couch by 9pm, drooling all over my dog to reruns of I Love Lucy…. And if there was a weekend where I wasn’t cramming every “grownup” chore I had to do into one day, I’d be adulting in other ways —  family obligations like birthdays or communion celebrations or whatever.

Basically the weekends left very little room for me to just.. well.. be me. and chill out. Little room for fun. Little room for relaxing. Little room for what weekends are ideally are supposed to be like.

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I wrote a post a while back about killing the Sunday Blues.. that icky feeling that comes around 3pm when you realize that the break from real life is almost over and you have to return to your office job. But really, having a happy awesome weekend is the true way to prevent yourself from feeling drained and ill prepared for Monday. So here’s how you do it.

How to Make Your Weekend Awesome

Matt and I like to space things out in our weekend schedule. Look at us right now for instance.. I’m writing… because duh, I love it. He’s playing video games, because duh.. he’s a weirdo-nerd and loves it. High fives to us for being us. We play on our toys until .. say ten, when we will head out and go start our morning with a few grown up things.. like grocery shopping and bank visits. But we don’t cram it all in at once. We space it out with some fun. We’ll come home, watch tv, relax with a cup of tea on the couch.. maybe even do a puzzle.

As far as all the chores for the house, I use a simple time management guide that has really helped me space out my obligations as a grown up. Instead of cramping my weekend style with cleaning a bathroom or vacuuming, I space out my chores to do one thing each day during the week. That way, by the time Saturday comes, I have this free amazing time on my hands to do whatever the heck I please.

So here are the lessons for having an awesome weekend that doesn’t suck you dry of energy and happiness. 

1.Space out your chores. Don’t do everything all in one day. It ruins things. Duh. The end. who wants to spend the whole weekend sweating like a pig scrubbing the bathroom floors anyway?

2.Shut off Technology for a few hours. I love shutting off my phone for an hour or two just to give myself that break from being constantly connected to everyone. It’s really easy to get wrapped up in mindless instagram surfing and can take time away from doing things for you. Sure pictures of other people’s awesome weekends are exciting… but when they keep you from having an awesome weekend yourself, you’ve got a problem.

3.Include one beauty treatment for yourself each weekend. Sometimes I have a total spa day. Other times, I just paint my nails at home or go out to the nail salon. My new obsession is getting my eyelashes done. I love relaxing for an hour while the ladies pamper my face.

4.Learn to Say No. This one was a really hard thing for me to do. And  honestly, I still struggle with it sometimes. If there’s a party you feel obligated to go to but a party in your pjs watching game of thrones and drinking pino sounds way more exciting to you, then F it and go do it. You are an adult now. There is no reason to keep saying yes to everything. You don’t need to live life pleasing other people. Go do what you want to do.

5. Go Exercise: It’s easy to look at exercise as a chore, but the truth is, you can actually enjoy it and find it relaxing! Tomorrow Matt and I are going for a hike.. a fun relaxing way to get some activity into your schedule, boost your endorphins and increase your energy on the regular.

6.Take Time for Yourself: I don’t care what it is. Journaling, reading, Diy projects.. just go do it. Go be you. Remind yourself of your hobbies, passions and interests and go do things for yourself that bring you joy. You’re not a boring person… remember why by practicing the hobbies you love.

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Divider what is perfection

What is Perfection is the Self Improvement blog for the imperfect girl everywhere. Learn to find happiness, feel beautiful, and be confident in who you are. We all deserve to be happy, and we all deserve to be the best version of us. And we all are truly capable of getting there. Because Perfection Is Impossible. Happiness isn’t. See The Self Improvement E-Guide Collection For Your Life Coaching Guides to Change Your Life Today!

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