How to Reinvent Yourself

How to Reinvent Yourself

This morning I posted a narrative on my Facebook page. It was sort of a soul reflection on how I got to the place I am in today.

I am the possibility that all people can reinvent themselves.

In 2008 I was raped and walked away from my life to reinvent myself.
In 2012 I left a drug-addicted husband, and reinvented myself as a single woman.
In 2013 I was able to heal and rebuild – landing myself in my first apartment – reinventing myself as “successful” for the first time. 
In 2015 I walked away from an unhealthy career and created What is Perfection LLC.

Now I am here. With Purpose, Passion, and a Fire in my soul.

The old me would have never been able to receive this joy.

But like I said: I am the possibility that all people can reinvent themselves.

In order to follow our dreams and become who we are meant to be, we need to shed the old parts of ourselves that hold us back. That means transforming who we are.

In my life, I have shed a lot of things in the process of reinventing myself to follow my dreams. I’ve lost weight, let go of unhealthy people, gave away possessions, released negative emotions, and said goodbye to the old version of me I didn’t like.

I am still reinventing myself today. Why? Because suffering is the result of unfulfilled dreams. And I refuse to suffer.

At some point you must take the next step. Make a commitment to have what you want in life and then make a plan to get it. It’s there waiting for you, but most likely it isn’t going to just fall into your lap.

Release the negative holding you back. Reinvent the human you are so that you can level up to the dreams you have for your life. And then?

GO GET IT.

 

But what if you want to reinvent yourself but you don’t know how? What if you are trying to achieve some bigger than you goal in your brain right now and it feels almost impossible to get there.

This – ladies and gents – is about learning to perfect the art of “Closing the gap.” Getting you from where you are to where you want to be in life.

And all of that, starts from within.

 

How to Reinvent Yourself

1.Start getting clear about what needs to leave your life. 

This is probably the biggest most powerful shift you can make in your life – removing the negativity.  I also think it’s truthfully one of the hardest. Some of us aren’t even aware of the negative in our life until it slaps us right in the face. Do you have friends who belittle you? Does your mother make you feel insignificant? Maybe your home is so cluttered with reminders of the past you have a hard time moving forward. Whatever it is – learning to recognize what doesn’t serve you and getting rid of it is the first step in reinventing yourself.

 

2.Figure out who you truly want to be.

This is one of the most exciting legs of the journey – redesigning the vision you have for you life!  If you are a person who doesn’t like change – then lets face it, this might be a hard part of the process for you. But then again you probably wouldn’t be reading this post anyway. Asking yourself important questions about the life you want will lay the solid foundation for change. Do you want to make more money? Do you want to be more kind? Perhaps you have this crystal clear picture of you and your dream love sitting on a beach, or buying a house and raising a family. Get clear about the vision. Paint it. Paint it with all the pretty colors you can possibly imagine. And then execute it.

 3.Set your goal, pick a deadline and take massive action. 

Hire a coach, invest in a program, do something crazy serious to train yourself/ mold into the person you want to be. It’s pretty simple guys. In order to stretch into a new human being, you need to do some of the hard work. That may mean investing in a vision greater than your present state right now. It may mean doing things that are scary and overwhelming and full of fear.

 4. Walk with the fear to become that new version of you.  

So since you know what you want now  get really good at strategy for getting there. It doesn’t mean things are going to be perfect right away – but learning to realign yourself with the higher version of you that you want to be is so important. Learn how to take those big scary leaps that will make you grow and propel you into the person you want to be. If it doesn’t scare you – then you aren’t dreaming big enough!

 

APRIL’S BOOK OF THE MONTH! YOU ARE A BADASS!

APRIL’S BOOK OF THE MONTH! YOU ARE A BADASS!

The self-help section of Barnes and Noble is my happy place. It’s especially awesome when I need a big pick me up and state change. I just get in my car, stop at the starbucks cafe for a latte and then meander around in search for a new self improvement gem that will change my life. Sometimes it’s hard to make a decision. There are so many to choose from! But when I saw You Are A Badass by Jen Sincero, I was pretty much sold on the idea that THIS would be my next book.

And I read it in like… two days. I devoured it. And then when I was done, I read it again.

It was that amazing.

So Guess what I decided to pick for April’s book of the month? YUP….. YOU GUESSED IT.

You are a bad Ass.

Because “You are a Badass”is badass.  Seriously, with a name like that, how could you not feel inspired?!

you are a badass Jen Sincero What is Perfection

You Are A Badass – By Jen Sincero

When I picked up the book, the cover seemed too good to be true: “How to stop doubting your greatness and start living an awesome life.”

Yeah… okay. Doubt much?

But the minute I started reading it I fell in love. It’s the real deal guys.

you are a badass Jen Sincero What is Perfection

Why The You Are A Badass Book is Truly Bad-Ass

You will develop a great understanding of ego. If you’re unfamiliar with the term Ego and what it means for your personal development, don’t sweat it.  You Are A Bad Ass by Jen Sincero will give you a great introduction on Ego. You’ll learn what it is and how it effects your happiness. But in case you’re curious, I’ll clue you in. Ego, or “the Big Snooze,” as Sincero calls it,  is that voice of self doubt in your head that holds you back from actually becoming the person you truly are meant to be. It’s that little person talking to you telling you to be afraid of going after the things you want to accomplish in life.

You will discover what exactly is holding you back from happiness. Once you understand your ego, aka your own “big snooze,” you will quickly uncover the root of your problems. If you have limiting beliefs like, “other people control my life,” or “I cannot have the life I want,” this book will help you completely dismiss those ideas and help you create new ones. Sincero really dives deep into self perception and helps you understand exactly how to change your beliefs so you can get what you want in life.

Other Awesome Things You’ll Learn when You Read You Are A Badass

You’ll totally grow your self love. You are a Badass is totally 100 percent focused on helping you grow your self love. It is literally the foundation of this book. And that’s a really good thing. Because you cannot accomplish anything in your life (like finding happiness) if you don’t learn to love yourself first. In order to go after your dreams, you need to believe that you can accomplish them, and you need to start acting like you can and believing in yourself. You are a Badass shows you just how to do that ..

You’ll star taking more risks so you can be successful. Jen Sincero tells a great story about this in You are a Badass. She wanted to grow her financial status, but also needed a car. So she went out and bought the car of her dreams. She didn’t have the money for it at the time. But by purchasing that car, she pushed herself into a lifestyle she wanted. Because of her big crazy purchase, she became determined to actually create the life she wanted for herself. Jen Sincero is a rockstar. She really shows you that it is okay to take a big leap of faith; especially  when you are trying to accomplish big things. If you go after your goals with tenacity, the universe will reward you.

Okay.. the end. I hope you’ve realized how amazing this book really is, and I hope you go out and grab it. Total game changer.

 

How to Break a Bad Habit Forever

How to Break a Bad Habit Forever

Full disclosure: I have some pretty bad habits up my sleeve. Some that I am holding onto for now, because I am not ready to commit to the step of letting go, and others I have been trying to quit for years. If you’re honest with yourself, I’m sure you could admit to having a bad habit or two no matter how close to perfect you are.

The question is how do we kick butt and remove an unhealthy habit from our lifestyle? And how do we find the passion and drive to stay committed to quitting a bad habit?

How to Quit a Bad Habit

PART ONE: Steps to Getting Rid of a Bad Habit

Step One: Acknowledging your bad habit it is holding you back. Ask yourself this important question: “How is this bad habit negatively effecting my lifestyle?” When I was a heavy drinker, for example, I needed to recognize that drinking too much was really preventing me from living the life I truly deserved. I knew this. But I guess  I didn’t want to admit it. So I made myself admit it. I got out a pen and paper and I made a list.

Set Two: Make a list of all the reasons your unhealthy habit is negatively influencing you. I’ll give you an example from my personal life just to help you on your own self discovery process. I used to be a heavy drinker. How did I change that? First, I recognized that my drinking was negatively affecting me. Then I listed all the reasons how it was actually doing that. When I was drinking heavily,  I was feeling behind on my weight-loss and healthy goals. I was also holding myself back from emotional balance because whenever I was drinking heavily, I had a hard time relaxing and being present. Most importantly (the biggest eye opener of them all) my heavy drinking was effecting my relationships with others: I would fight a little more often with my boyfriend and my sisters when I was under the influence. And that was a big no no for me. Making that list really made me want to give up drinking. I couldn’t deny the truth when it was staring me in the face.

Step Three: Figuring out exactly what that bad habit provides you. It’s true though, we all get something positive from our bad habits. And we need to acknowledge that too. You cannot get rid of a bad habit without replacing it with a good one. So you need to ask yourself what that bad habit offers you and how it enhances your life. Do you smoke to relax? Maybe you drink to have a good time? Or perhaps you are an overeater who uses food to cope with anxiety. Whatever it is – figure it out.

Step Four: Replacing your unhealthy bad habit with a new healthy habit. It’s easy to pass up the idea of quitting a bad habit when we program our brains to think that the bad habit we love is actually adding value to our lives. But once we get real deep and honest with ourselves, we can recognize how that bad habit enhances our lives and then figure out a new healthy habit to replace it with. Maybe instead of drinking to relax you will go for a walk or meditate. Maybe instead of overeating to cope with anxiety you read a book or paint your nails. Whatever works for you is what you should do.

PART TWO: Finding The Drive to Change NOW.

Step Five: Discover the reasons why you must change this bad habit now as opposed to later on in life. Have you ever known someone who says they want to change but they never do? There is a reason so many people put off the idea of making a positive change for their lives: They don’t have the motivation to make that change NOW. Instead, they just keep putting it off. How many times have you wanted to start a healthy lifestyle and kept telling yourself, “oh I’ll start on Monday.” Or maybe you were trying to quit indulging on sweet foods but kept telling yourself that the holiday’s were around the corner, “Why not wait until after then?” Find the momentum to change your lifestyle NOW. Ask yourself, “What will happen if I don’t make this change NOW in my life? as opposed to two years from now, or next year or next week?” There has to be something about your situation now in life that will give you the urge and desire to take massive action TODAY. Find the reasons.. reflect on those reasons.. and push yourself forward.

Step Six: Implement new healthy habits. Remember how I said bad habits stick around because we get something good from them? What do you get from your bad habit right now? You have to be getting something good or else you wouldn’t be keeping that bad habit around! Does your bad habit relax you? Maybe it gives you something to do and keeps you busy when you are bored. Perhaps your bad habit has become such a routine part of your life that you don’t even remember what that good feeling is that you got from it. Dig deep. Figure it out. You can’t give up a bad habit without replacing it with something new. That’s just the truth. If you don’t find new ways to feel good, you’ll just give up a bad habit, feel bad, and then go back to it! So don’t do that.

 

All of these Steps and more for sustainable bad habit kicking are outlined in my free E-Guide. Come grab it by clicking the button below and start making positive changes to your life today!

badhabitsquittinge-guide

 

 

Closing the Gap Between Where You Are and Where You Want to Be

Closing the Gap Between Where You Are and Where You Want to Be

Let’s talk about goals. We set them because we want be better for ourselves and for others, right? But sometimes what we want for our future is SO so super far away from our current reality, that it feels almost impossible. And why try if you think you’re going to fail anyway? am I right?

Last night for example, I was talking to my business coach telling him that for the longest time I have been fearful that my vision for my business is “too big for me.”

“What if I’m not good enough to make this dream of mine a reality? What if what I want is actually impossible?”

This, my friend, is called the GAP. The gap between where you are and where you want to be.

Sometimes that big disconnecting space can overwhelm us. I know it definitely overwhelms me at times. I look at my goals for this year and compare them to where I am currently and it feels really scary to think about all the work I have to do to get there!

The truth is it isn’t the goal itself that overwhelms us in life. When we set goals, we set them with a positive mindset – we want something bigger and better for ourselves and we pick it with the idea that eventually, with hard work and dedication, we will get it.

IMG_4856WhatisPerfection

But when we don’t focus enough on our goal, whether it is to get organized, to save money, to manage our time better, or to reach a weight-loss goal, there is a period of time in our process of transformation where we start questioning our mission: “Is this something I can really do? Am I capable of this? I have so much more work to do to get there and I just can’t imagine achieving it compared to where I am now!”Hence – the Gap. The Gap between where you are and where you want to be.

We get stuck in that big ugly gap – that open space of nothingness where we feel like we have made the decision to do something an we haven’t gotten near close to achieving it.

The Goal isn’t the place we give up.. it’s the Gap. The Gap is where we are subjected to fear, doubt, self surrender, and failure. This is the place where we start feeling all of those bad worries associated with our goals. It’s the make or break area of our journey where we have two choices: We can either A- Push forward and overcome that fear, or B-Just simply give up and surrender to the life we used to live.

The whole point of self improvement is about closing that gap. Trying to push yourself forward from where you are now just to get a little bit closer to where you want to be. And the truth is, closing that gap is a process. It takes time, dedication, and long term effort. It isn’t about just focus guys – it is also about being flexible in your approach – analyzing what works for you and changing it along the way of your journey.

So How Do we close the gap between where we are and where we want to be? How do we move forward and reach our goals when we feel lost in the open space of uncertainty and not being good enough?

One step at a time.

 

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How to Close the Gap Between Where You Are and Where You Want to Be

Get Crystal Clear About What You Want: You want to lose weight? That’s great. But don’t just set a number on the scale as your goal. Make your goal diverse. Tell yourself “I want to lose X Amount of pounds,” but keep running with that idea and get more specific. “I want to lose X amount of pounds. I want to feel more confident. I want to make better health conscious decisions about what I eat. I want to completely change my lifestyle so that it is more healthy. I want to have more energy. I want to have that amazing feeling getting dressed in the morning that I can pick anything I want from my closet and it will fit and make me feel sexy!”  How you set your goals is key to whether you succeed or fail. And you need to do it the right way. Which is why I highly recommend my goal setting guide to clients I work with. It’s a huge game changer.

Being Understanding and Kind with Time: Imagine time as a friendly companion and not an enemy. It is really easy to look at the calendar, take out your pen and pencil in a date of achieving something. “I will lose 30 pounds by ______” Or “I will find love by ______” ….. We all know the universe  has bigger plans and unexpected challenges along the way of your journey. Sometimes things get in the way. Sometimes obstacles and detours are just part of the process of learning. When you are angry with time and feel like you haven’t reached a goal based your expectations, its easy to label yourself a failure. Instead, look at time as an irrelevant component to whatever it is you are trying to achieve. Instead of seeing how far away you are based on your deadline, ask yourself this question: “Am I better and more improved in this area of my life since I set this goal and started working towards it?” If the answer is yes, congratulations! You are still in it for the win!

Start Being More Positive About Your Experience: I can’t tell you how many times women who have accomplished so much in terms of their goals start getting down on themselves because they haven’t transformed into this perfect picture of what they wanted in their lives. “I only lost X when I wanted to lose X.” or “I like my stomach but I don’t like my legs.” Or “I only got a B+ on that test when my goal was really an A” or how about the money gap, when you’ve saved X amount of dollars but it wasn’t that exact perfect number you were hoping for. Does that mean you automatically failed? Does that mean you haven’t reached your goal? Absolutely not! It means you are still learning and still growing! When we look at our goals as multi-purpose and multi-dementional in our “Crystal Clear Approach,” we can see that every goal we set for ourselves has a feeling related to it – an emotion we are trying to fulfill or improve. If you can look at where you are now and feel better than when you started, hone in on that positivity and embrace it. In those moments of weakness when you start feeling self doubt about the things you wanted to accomplish, take out a pen and paper and list all the ways you have actually improved and made your life better since you started your journey. It really helps.

When We Fail, We Don’t Fail. We Learn: This is really a key point in the process of closing the gap. When we set goals we need to be clear and focused on what we want, but we need to also understand that our approach may change over time. Our journey may be different than we anticipated when we started this process. We may have to take some off roads, we may have to fall down a few times and get back up. These moments of ‘disruption” along our journey aren’t failure moments – they are learning moments. Any time you feel disconnected from where you want to be and feel as if you have failed, it’s important to look at those situations as moments of enlightenment. “What can I learn from this? How has my mind changed in the process of learning this hard lesson?” Learning moments are the moments that make us stronger and better. Not to mention, they really help us appreciate our goals once we achieve them.

Keep Growing and Keep Improving:  I mentioned this in a  post about Ask and It is Given, the Book I read last  summer, and it is so important to understand. Our Goals are going to change … constantly. We are always asking for more, always expecting more and always wanting to improve ourselves. And that is a Perfect and wonderful thing…. except when you don’t do it. If you think that once you reach a goal for your health you give up on it, you will never feel fulfilled. If you believe that your journey is over once you reach your goal number in your savings account, you’ll go out the next day and spend it all. Keep setting bigger goals and keep moving up the ladder. Overtime you will transform into an amazing wonderful human who is full of so much amazing potential.

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How to Pick the Perfect Goals for 2017

How to Pick the Perfect Goals for 2017

Every year around this time, we all start thinking about what we want more of (or less of) in our lives.

We start dreaming about the money we want to save, the weight we want to lose, the happiness we want to create.

It’s New Year Resolution time… that time of year when we put our lives under a little microscope and start asking ourselves what we should be doing to LIVE better.

Me, I set my New Years resolutions every single year. I aim for things that keep me inspired, motivated, and things that make me happy to think about.

I think the scariest part of setting resolutions isn’t really “picking something” to change about our lives…. it’s the fear that maybe we won’t exactly follow through.

Here’s how you can take any New Years Resolution and make it perfectly irresistible so that you DO achieve it next year.

 

1.Ask yourself why you WANT this goal. What about your life makes you feel like this is the thing you want to achieve to make yourself more awesome.

2.Figure out why you MUST achieve this goal now. Not tomorrow, not next year, not two years from now. Get so certain that NOW is the time.

3.Discover three big things you can do to take massive action towards achieving this goal. Right here and now for the New Year.

4.Take that seriously massive big bold step.

2017 can be the best year of your life. You just need to start believing in yourself.

Oh… and here’s a free E-Guide to help you!