I am coming out of the closet: I prefer women.
There is something about being approached by a beautiful woman all dolled up in your store, rocking that gorgeous Kat Von D eyeliner, that makes me feel safe and excited the same time.
I’m not exactly experienced. I am looking for a woman to guide me. So when I walk into Sephora and scope out the makeup expert with the perfectly contoured face and sexy lipliner, I instantly feel warm inside.
“Do you need help with anything?” she will ask.
“Yes. Make me beautiful.” – (That’s my sexy pickup line, in case you are wondering.)
Yup. I prefer women. And I don’t mean that in a sexual way. I mean it in a “Help me pick out the best 42 dollar eyeliner” sort of way.
So when my boyfriend and I walked into Sephora this weekend and a straight man approached us, things got real awkward real quick.
“Do you need any help?” He asked.
I just stood there trying to jumble my words together to form a sentence.
(How do I tell this nice man I prefer women?)
I realize in today’s day and age, it isn’t exactly appropriate to discriminate against someone based on their gender or sexual orientation. Okay, correction, it never really was appropriate at any time. Period.
But how can I possibly get the best makeup advice from a man who doesn’t wear any? And how do I tell him that?
So there I stood next to my boyfriend in the store, trying to find the words to politely decline this man’s offer based on my own Sephora-Sexual Orientation.
It felt more awkward than if a man at a bar asked to join us in the bedroom for a little rendezvous. “No sorry, ladies only.”
“I um… think I’m going to need someone else to help me?” I said to him. But I sort of phrased it as a question because I had no idea how the heck to say this the right way.
“Sorry, is that not appropriate to say? I don’t really know how to say that I need guidance on makeup, from a woman and not a man. You aren’t really experienced in wearing any!”
He laughed again.
Then he told me his wife loves the discount he gets.
So I tried to go along with it and let the straight man help me. After all, men are known for walking into a store, getting what they need and just leaving. Quick and easy shopping. So since I had Matt with me, I was in a rush already. I didn’t want to take too much time in Sephora anyway.
I didn’t drag my boyfriend there so he could spend hours watching me get dolled up in new shades of Bobby Brown. Seriously. I did want to get in and out of there quickly. Matt needed new cologne, and I needed a new concealer to cover up my blogging-life eye-bags. It was a simple trip, so why not give the makeup guy a try?
But even though I tried to be open to it, my shopping experience didn’t feel right. I felt so insecure and unsure of the items I was putting in my bag. I didn’t feel trusting in his advice on the latest products or his reasons why I should buy a concealer crayon instead of a tube.
Is that my own incredibly naive bias? Or is that real life normal girl thinking? Am I allowed to feel insecure about a man giving me makeup advice when he has no real experience in wearing makeup? Or maybe he does have experience, and I just have no idea. Maybe he dresses up on the weekends or is in the process of becoming trans. I HAVE NO CLUE.
But what I do know is that I felt very bad for feeling the way I did.
Am I allowed to politely decline getting help from someone based on their gender or their sexual orientation?
I want to know what you think on this….
Is it okay?
Because I’m still not sure I know the answer to that question.
And I wish I did.
I left Sephora with some beautiful new concealer and a beautiful bag of new goodies for my face. So I guess it was a win.
The Sephora guy shook my hand goodbye before I left.
“So… how was your first time with….?” he wanted to know how he performed of course.
This time I laughed.
“Yes. My first time with a straight man was wonderful thank you.”
I just was wishing it was a woman the whole time.