Bad news bears alert: Settling for less than you deserve is a shit way to live. Seriously. The shittiest. I mean, duh, we pretty much all know that right? We’ve heard the “raise your standards” lecture so many times before:
“Don’t stay in a shitty job if you hate it.
Stop dating the jerk if he doesn’t treat you right.
Let go of that friend who is taking advantage of you.
Stand up for yourself when that girl at work is bullying you.”
We’ve heard it a bunch of different ways. But all that advice has the same translation: Raise your standards and stop settling for shitty things.
But here’s the problem when it comes to wanting to raise your standards: It’s obvious that you should do it, but very few people know how to. Why is it such a hard lesson to learn? And how exactly do you raise your standards when you have been constantly living life settling for less than you deserve? If you’re the girl asking those questions, keep reading. Because I’m going to tell you.
Why You Need to Raise Your Standards
First, I need to hammer home the point that learning to raise your standards is actually super important. Because why would you do try to even do it if it wasn’t such a big deal? And it IS A BIG DEAL! Why? Because it totally effects EVERYTHING about you.
Your life is a direct reflection of the standards you hold.
Don’t believe me? Is the concept too fluffy or theoretical to you? Let me break it down for you: If you don’t feel good about yourself, you are never going to attract a life that feels good for you. If you don’t feel valuable to yourself, you won’t attract people who value you either. If you don’t think you are worth anything, say goodbye to that sexy office and promotion you want so badly.
But forget about the world around you for a minute – think about why you should raise your standards for yourself.
If you don’t have high standards for what being “healthy” means – how can you possibly find the drive to take care of your body? – Keep smoking those cigarettes, eating that fried food and avoiding that treadmill.
If you don’t have high standards for the quality of your life – meaning living a fulfilling happy joyful one – how can you possibly go after your dreams and goals? – Forget that dream of advancing your career or going back for your masters degree.
And most importantly, let’s talk about LOVE: If you don’t have a strong sense of what you deserve in your love life, how can you possibly find something better than the relationship you have right now? – Go ahead, stay stuck in that unhealthy unhappy relationship.
I hope you get my point here.
What we think of ourselves, and the standards we have, directly effects our life in every single way. And if you want a better life, you simply need to raise your standards.
So, Now You Need to Raise Your Standards
Here’s how you do it. It’s simple, it’s easy, and it works.
Identify what areas of your life are making you unhappy right now.
Are you feeling stuck in a really destructive unhealthy relationship with someone? Maybe you feel like you don’t prioritize yourself enough and are constantly avoiding that self care time you really deserve. Perhaps you feel like you need to focus more on your health and start taking care of your body. Make a list of all the areas of your life that you are struggling with right now, and identity what specifically is making you unhappy. If you are unhappy in a certain area of your life, most of the time it is because you are compromising what you really want for yourself. Identify the issues so you can raise your standards and fix those problem areas.
Figure out what limiting beliefs are holding you back.
This is a huge component of my one on one coaching and the online courses I run for Personal development. Behind every low standard you have for yourself is a limiting belief that you can’t have anything better or don’t deserve anything better. So ask yourself, in those areas of your life that you seem to be unhappy, what limiting beliefs do you have that are keeping you from going after something better.
Create new positive empowering beliefs.
You can’t just stop thinking negatively about yourself. You need to replace whatever limiting belief you have with a POSITIVE EMPOWERING one. So if you’re old belief was “I will never find someone better to love me,” replace that limiting belief with this: “I am a beautiful, gorgeous woman who deserves to be loved and cared for in every which way.”
Find the facts to back up that belief.
Build your confidence, figure out exactly what tangible evidence you have in your life to support your new empowering belief. Come up with all the reasons you are beautiful, worth it,, deserving, and capable. Get real and honest with yourself… and start showing yourself a little bit of love. In my experience coaching my clients, this is one of the hardest steps to take in the process of learning to raise your standards. So many women feel insecure learning how to redefine their self worth and love. If you are struggling, go check out my affordable coaching programs here.
Identify what you want, and what you will no longer tolerate.
This is huge in the process of learning to raise your standards. Once you figure out all the reasons you are deserving and capable of improving your life, you need to recognize wha you will NO LONGER tolerate. Take a stand, identify all the of the things you refuse to “settle for.” Set a date on the calendar and come up with a plan to start living to a higher standard. Promise yourself you will no longer tolerate X, Y, and Z, in your life.
Invest in your personal development.
Learning how to raise your standards is only a small part of building your confidence. And like any new hobby or habit, you need to educate yourself, become informed and retrain your brain to think differently. If you are the girl out there ready to make a positive change for herself, and her worth, take a big bold step and sign up for a 30 day transformation course. Go to the store and get personal development books. Start journaling. Whatever works for you and your budget. Knowing your worth and investing in yourself is a great amazing way to raise your standards. Probably one of the best.
Ready for a big step? Get the top rated program for transforming your confidence and healing your heartbreak!