Yesterday I posed a question to the Facebook group about New Year problems. I asked WIP Girls – “What’s keeping you up at night?” I wanted to know what was going on from my girls this month so I could figure out exactly how to help them. (if you haven’t joined yet, check out the Facebook group here.) I usually get all different kinds of feedback when I ask questions like that. But this time around, almost everyone had the same pain point with the new year!
And no it wasn’t feeling overweight or struggling with a healthy new year diet. It was all about the Benjamin’s baby.
Yes. MONEY. FINANCES. BUDGET. Those icky words we hate hearing. Those big adult words we just want to run away from and pretend don’t exist. Those scary responsible words that just make you want run back into kindergarten class and hide under the blankets during nap time with a juice box.
Not like I’ve tried to do that or anything…..
The words may seem scary, but I’m putting them right in front of your face today. There is no ignoring those words in this post. No earmuffs allowed.
Because today I want you to face the truth.. even if it hurts.
Here it is:
If you are stressing about money, you are doing something wrong.
This is coming from me. The girl who once had a cushy job as a news producer in manhattan – who walked away from all of that with zero prospects lined up.
Yes. I am a loony lady. I got rid of my apartment, put all of my things in storage, and started a business from the ground up. And What is Perfection was born.
Was I scared? You bet your ass I was.
Was I sometimes stressed about money? “Stressed” is an understatement.
But I learned some really big things in my first year of business – grown up things about money and mindset – that have transformed my level of happiness.
Now the thought of money doesn’t even make me bat an eyelash. Zen Buddha girl status over here.
If I compare my full year without a corporate job or steady income running What is Perfection, to the very last year I spent working at CBS with a consistent paycheck. 401k and health benefits –
Guess which lifestyle was more stressful?
WORKING FOR THE BIG MAN.
Yes. Without a job, without cushy benefits – I am actually happier and more financially at ease than I was working back then.
How the heck did THAT Happen you ask? (I hope you are asking that because you are reading this post after all.)
Well… A few small changes had a BIG effect on me.
I changed my money stories. I changed my relationship with money. I changed how I felt about it and what it meant to me.
It’s easier than you think.
And if you are that person out there living paycheck to paycheck – the girl who every month is drinking her bottle of wine trying to pay those last final bills to make ends meet – listen up: You are in the right place to say bye bye to all of that. I’m going to show you how with today’s post.
Don’t worry love…. and sorry in advance if I sound like your annoying old grandma telling you what to do. Like her, I am saying these things because I love you.
How to Stop Stressing Out About Money.
Stop thinking money is scarce.
Money is scarce because you are making it scarce. And no, I don’t mean that you aren’t making enough or that you are spending too much. No. Really. That’s not what this is about. Money is scarce because the minute you get it, you feel like it’s going to disappear. Scarcity is a mindset – and you can’t have it. Especially when it comes to money. It is the reason that so many people overeat (because they feel like when the cookies are in the house they need to eat them before they disappear.) It is the reason that people in unhealthy relationships can start smothering their partners (because they feel that love always disappears so they try to grab as much of it as they can before it’s gone.) And if you are nodding your head yes to those two examples, I am sorry to tell you – the same is true for your money. When you live in scarcity mode, you think money is going to disappear. So what do you do? You RUSH to appreciate and enjoy it the minute you get it.
Stop it girl. Get rid of that limiting belief that money isn’t scarce and get real about the facts: you are the one who will make it scarce with your negative mindset!
Stop telling yourself b.s. stories that you will always have money problems.
I used to be the girl who had money problems… so I guess I feel entitled to say this. I was 60 thousand dollars in debt, homeless and without a paycheck at one point in my life. Where am I now? Well – no debt, a successful business, a happy life and a beautiful home that I own. WEEEE!!! I am no different than you. I am not special or unique or one of a kind. I simply started thinking differently about money problems.
Just a days ago Matt’s car broke down. That same day he broke his arm. Suddenly in one weekend we had to get his car fixed, get his arm taken care of and (yes, you guessed it) spend a LOT of money. This is something that would have totally stressed me out in the past. Especially because of my money problems and how I grew up. But one thing I learned this past year is that when you tell yourself B.S. stories about how a Money problem is a BIG CRAZY UNFIXABLE disaster – it will always be looked at that way in your life. Back in the day if I was in a situation like that – with a medical bill and car repair all in 24 hours – I would have had a nervous breakdown, cried and ran for the hills. But today, I can just tell myself, “Okay. This is temporary. No permanent problem here!” What’s the big deal about having a little extra charge on my credit card this month? I just make it a point to adjust how I am living until it is paid off. Yes.. sounds too good to be true to live life thinking like that right?
But trust me – if you try to adapt all of these mindsets, this one will come easier than you think.
Stop living like you are poor.
“We can’t afford that.” or “I don’t have the money for that right now.” Guys… I NEVER tell myself these things. Even if they are sort of true. Having the mindset “I can’t afford that right now,” is only going to keep you feeling stuck in your life. I am not saying go out and put a pair of Jimmy Choos’ on credit (more on that in the next mindset tip) but really – you are not poor. You have a roof over your head, you have clothes on your back – you have a million things to be grateful for. And if you are reading this post – you have internet too… sorry to say it – you are doing JUST FINE.
It sounds so harsh and cold, but the truth is we all have this “never enough” mentality. We start thinking that we need to have it all in order to not consider ourselves lower class. But when you live your life with the mindset of “I can’t afford it,” you never will.
Being able to pay for things is not about having the right resources – it is about resourcefulness and finding the way to make it happen. No matter what. If you want something, you will damn sure as hell figure out a way.
Redefine your idea of ‘an investment’ vs. ‘a waste of money.’ Aka. Good debt vs. bad debt.
Okay.. This is going to be SUPER hard to hear guys. Everything you learned about “good debt vs. bad debt” is b.s. I want to tell you something about your expenses and how you live your life – go pull out your statement last month and look at everything you bought that was over twenty dollars and ask yourself these questions:
Did this purchase make you a better person or enhance your life in any way?
The emotional connection you have to your purchases is the strongest biggest most important thing to look at guys.
Did you buy a new outfit that you didn’t really need just because you thought it would make you feel better about yourself? Did it? And will it continue to do so?
Or did you invest in a self improvement course or a new book because you believed it would make you a better more successful more happy person?
Do you see the difference here? One has a return on it’s investment, the other does not.
Now look.. I am not saying you need to go through your budget and curse yourself for every single item you ever bought that was just for that temporary satisfaction – but I am saying those purchases should always be left to a minimum on your expense list.
Majority of your purchases you should be able to go through and say – yes. I needed this, it enhanced my life, it made me better, and I know it will pay off having purchased this in the future.
Stop relying on money to make you happy.
And the final most important thing to remember – stop buying shit just to get high from it. Fill your life with meaning and value that can’t be defined by the label in your jeans.
There’s more to life than that ladies.