It’s natural to want to seek approval from other people. But when you are constantly living your life for everyone else and not for yourself, that’s when life starts getting messy (and super depressing.) If you learn how to stop caring what others think, you can create an authentic amazing life for yourself without giving a shit about the mistakes you learn along the way.
Trust me, I’ve been there. I’ve been the girl constantly obsessed with approval. And if you’re reading this post on how to stop worrying about what others think, I’m sure you have been there too.
Have you ever been that girl who worries too much about other people’s opinions?
-Maybe you told your friends you hooked up with that hot guy at the bar that one time, but never mentioned how that dirty PDA on the dance floor turned into a one night stand at his apartment.
-Or maybe when your mom asked what you did the other night you told her that you “went out for a drink with a friend,” when really you had seven, left your credit card at the bar and threw up in the cab on the way home (sorry mom. This happened once.)
-And okay, maybe sometimes you hold in a fart at the dinner table or pick your nose in the car (when no one is looking of course.)
I don’t know you. I don’t know your life.
But I do know that we all shy away from being 100 percent open about our lives because we don’t want to face judgement.
And we do it for good reason.
Because not everyone needs to see our dirty laundry and smell our gas.
But sometimes that habit of keeping the details of your life private can escalate into a really unhealthy lifestyle; where you are constantly keeping your true-self behind closed doors to avoid criticism.
Here’s how to tell if it’s time to learn how to stop caring what others think:
-You don’t make a big life decision without thinking about what someone else thinks: your family, your friends, your boyfriend, girlfriend, etc.
-You hide certain passions or personality traits you have because you are afraid other people won’t like you.
-Sometimes you take a really long time making decisions because you get wrapped up in “what will this person or that person think about this?”
-You rely heavily on what others’ opinions and find yourself asking multiple people for advice.
-You feel the need to defend yourself when other people don’t approve of your life decisions or make negative comments about your life.
If this is you, let’s fix it.
Learning How to Deal with Negativity the Healthy Way…
You can read my previous post to find out why I decided to stop caring what others think if you want to know more about my own story.
But ever since What is Perfection was born and I “logged in” to the world of social media, I started paying close attention to how other people in the public eye deal with negativity. (Just in case I ever have to deal with it myself.)
It’s frustrating to see how mean people can be when they are hiding behind a computer screen.
But what’s even more frustrating to me is when I see bloggers and social media influencers taking time out of their lives to respond to all of that negative feedback. It’s almost like they feel the need to justify that they have their shit together. And while I can certainly relate to the insecurities behind that, I have learned that what other people think doesn’t matter. Especially when those other people are strangers.
Who knows, maybe one day I’ll feel a strong need to speak out and change my opinion. But for now, I am standing strong: You need to learn how to stop caring what others think.
Because whether you are a famous blogger or a normal girl living her normal unpublicized life – not everyone is going to like you. And you have to just deal with it.
Here’s How You Stop Caring What Others Think
1.Embrace the fact that you are always being judged. Lets face it. No matter what you are doing in your life someone is going to be judging you. So if you remind yourself of that small simple fact, it’s easier to follow your heart. “Well, I’m gonna be judged anyway, so I might as well do what feels right for me, right?” You might as well how to stop caring what others think so you can just focus on what you think instead.
2. Start believing that not everyone has to like you. You have no idea how liberating this is. Accept it. It’s an important part of learning how to stop caring what others think. Because not everyone is going to like you. Accept the fact that it will happen. And accept the fact that it is okay when it happens. Because check this out: when someone doesn’t like you, do you know what happens? Nothing. Nothing happens. The world doesn’t end. And the sky doesn’t fall. The people who love you don’t suddenly change their mind by popular vote. And those angry mean people don’t spend their lives stalking you and shouting “I hate your face” chants in your ear. The more you ignore them and just go about your business, the better off you are.
After that, Try these tips..
3.Remind yourself that other people don’t know more about your life than you do. No one walks in your shoes all day but you. No one on this earth is an expert in your life except for you. You are the only one who is a pro when it comes to living your life. And while someone may think a decision is good for you, deep down they don’t have a darn clue. So really learn how to stop caring what others think, by remember that people don’t know what they are talking about. Because they aren’t you. Only you know what’s best for you.
4.Practice your decision making abilities. See, the more decisions you make in your life, the more you’ll get used to the idea of trusting your gut and learning how to not care what others think about those decisions. It’s what happened to me when I started What is Perfection: I pushed myself into a place where I didn’t have any other choice but to be true to myself. You don’t need a blog to do that, you just need to put yourself in more challenging situations. Check out this post on decision making if you want to know more.
5. Develop Healthy Self Confidence Practices. You can’t grow your confidence if you don’t have the healthy emotional tools to make it happen. learning how to not care what others think isn’t something you can just suddenly wake up and start doing. It requires practice, learning, and healthy emotional development. That’s what the Perfection Program is all about: Giving women the tools for building their self confidence and changing their lives in 30 days. Click here if you want to learn more about how you can start your own self love journey. So stop caring what others think and start caring about yourself!
And if you want to take things a step further, check out this other post on how I learned to stop caring what others think.
And get the guide for reframing your mindset – the journaling worksheet!