A long time ago, I felt really lost in how to find happiness. I knew what I wanted for myself, and it was simple, really. I just wanted to be happy.

Seriously,  you can’t get more simple than that. But as basic as that goal was, figuring out how to find happiness seemed like the most complicated thing in the world for me to do. It seemed like I had not been happy in forever, and the idea of having to figure out the roadmap for learning how to find happiness at that stage felt really impossible. It seemed overwhelming and stressful.

See, at the time, life was happening “to me” and not “for me.” I felt very much like all these bad things were always happening in my life that I couldn’t do anything about. I was constantly asking myself “why is this happening to me?” because it seemed like bad things were always happening!

But the secret for how to find happiness isn’t found in stupid questions like that. I needed to start asking myself more positive questions so I could create the life I deserver.  So let me share the four simple steps for how to find happiness in your life so you can be a total awesome happiness guru  in your own life!


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The Simple Steps for How to Find Happiness

The First Step: Asking Yourself  “Where Am I Right Now?”

The only way I was able to move forward towards a happy life was by recognizing exactly where I was in my dark moments.  Learning how to find happiness only happens once you can figure out what is wrong with the present time. I recommend checking out my post if you’re asking yourself “Why Am I so Unhappy.” So you can get to the true root of the problem.

Once you take a good hard look at your life as it is today, it is easier to figure out what is missing. You need to create your own roadmap to move towards a different location. So ask yourself, “where am I now?” Try figuring out what about your life needs improvement.


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How to Find Happiness in Your Life

The Second Step: Removing “Dead End Questions” from Your Language

When times are tough, it is really hard to ask those “dead-end questions” and get stuck on the idea that life sucks. But dead-end questions are those silly questions you are asking yourself that never get you anywhere in life. You may find yourself asking things like this:

Why is my life such a terrible mess?

Why is it so hard for me to be happy?

Why do bad things always happen to me?

Sound familiar? When you play life like a victim, moving forward isn’t possible. If you want to learn how to find happiness you need to start asking yourself different questions.

The questions you ask during your difficult times in life totally shape your future.

So rather than stay stuck in the same negative mindset, start setting moving things in a more positive direction. Turn all those questions into positive questions that will propel you forward so you can take control of your future and start making changes.

TRICK + TIP FOR HOW TO FIND HAPPINESS: When I’m feeling stuck, I make a list of all the negative questions running through my brain on one side of a piece of paper. I list as many dead-end questions and statements as I possibly can. When I am done writing them out, I take a five minute break to clear my mind and reflect on my list.

When I’m ready, I go through each statement one by one making changes. I cross out each negative believe or question and replace it with a positive belief or question on the other side of the paper. This trick definitely helps.

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The Third Step: STOP BEING A VICTIM. One of the most valuable lessons I had learned about the journey to finding happiness is that I can’t create it if I live like a victim.

The Events of My life do not shape my destiny. But rather, how I interpret these events and evaluate these experiences.

It is true that every thing that’s happened in your life — good or bad — has brought you to where you are now today. But what is also true is that it isn’t the events that have shaped you, but rather how you interpret those events.

If bad things happen and you interpret them as you living as a victim, you will continue to feel like you can’t control your own life or your own happiness.

But if you see a low moment in your life as an opportunity to grow, then you will be empowered by that experience. You will learn, grow and become stronger with that positive attitude.

If you look at whatever challenge you are facing and tell yourself that you CAN’T change it, or that you aren’t capable of taking control, you will fail. WE are not victims. We are the only ones that hold the key to changing our lives. Don’t fall a victim to your life experiences.

Learning How to Find Happiness….

Start Asking the RIGHT Questions: What Will Make You Happy?

Evaluating life’s moments is key to growth. And evaluating something is about asking questions. Positive questions are the key to being happy no matter what life brings you. Because Quality Questions Can Create a Quality life. 

Instead of throwing negativity at the wall with questions that could never help you grow, start asking yourself what positive things you can do to change your life.

That’s where my free E-guide comes in give you quick easy journal prompt questions for transforming your happiness. Check it out!




Feel free to try some of these during whatever difficult time you face; whether it is trying to change your life completely, or jut trying to overcome a small obstacle that’s blocking your road to happiness. Asking yourself positive and empowering questions during life’s dark moments will help make your future bright and amazing.

Want to focus your questions on self-love specifically? Come check out this post on Journaling Questions for Feeling Amazing or check out more of my journaling tips on the blog!

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What is Perfection is the Self Improvement blog for the imperfect girl everywhere. Learn to find happiness, feel beautiful, and be confident in who you are. We all deserve to be happy, and we all deserve to be the best version of us. And we all are truly capable of getting there. Because Perfection Is Impossible. Happiness isn’t. See The Self Improvement E-Guide Collection For Your Life Coaching Guides to Change Your Life Today!

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