How to feel beautiful when you feel terrible about yourself? Simple. Start thinking differently. Sounds too good too be true huh? Well it isn’t.
Did your mother ever tell you how beautiful you are? Mine told me all the time — boys sometimes did too. But I never believed it. I didn’t look like all the other girls, and I felt like I was different from everyone. Growing up I believed that being beautiful looked a certain way: It was long hair, big boobs, beautiful makeup and long eyelashes. It was a toned body, a flat tummy and a gorgeous smile.
For a while, I thought I had to change how I looked in order to feel beautiful. Then I grew up. And I realized something very important: Becoming a beautiful person is a magical process that starts from within.
You don’t have to change how you look in order to be beautiful. You need to change how you FEEL.
Because you already are beautiful. And if you don’t know it yet, I am here to give you the secret tips for learning how to believe in your gorgeous self.
Our False Perception of Beauty
For some reason people believe that you can’t feel beautiful until you have the perfect look — until you are the skinniest, the prettiest, the most successful person you can possibly be. The truth is we have a backwards approach and perspective to attaining beauty. Feeling beautiful is a “feeling” after all… so wouldn’t it make more sense to define that feeling based on emotion and not physical characteristics?
So how do we change that?
How do we start redefining our beautiful and actually start feeling beautiful?
It’s simple. Just follow these steps for learning how to feel beautiful and start thinking differently about your gorgeous self.
Make your “beautiful roadmap.”
This is something I tell all my clients to do. For some reason, many of us have this complicated roadmap for what we believe we need to achieve in order to feel beautiful. We stop defining beauty by emotional traits, and instead, start thinking strictly in the physical form. In order to change that and learn how to feel beautiful and fulfilled by your looks, your first step is to map out all things you believe you need to achieve right now in order to feel gorgeous. When you have your list, you’ll see how crazy complicated it is (I’m betting because most of my clients lists are complicated.) What do you believe is the key to feeling beautiful? Is it long legs, clear skin and a gorgeous slim body? Get clear about all the important physical factors you believe make a beautiful person.
Recognize how you formed those beliefs.
Once you recognize exactly what you believe is your “definition” of beauty, your next step is to figure out WHY you believe those things. Go through your list of all the physical traits you identify with being beautiful, and figure out the core reasons why you feel that way. What past experiences have you had that forced this limiting belief into your subconscious? In order to learn how to feel beautiful, we need to be able to challenge our current beliefs and develop new ones. The truth is, so many of us believe beauty is a certain way because we have had negative experiences that coined these ideas in our minds. It’s up to us to change it. Write out all the reasons why you believe each of these physical traits you listed are important. Were you bullied for being chubby? Did someone make a comment about your skin growing up? Did a boy make fun of you for having a flat chest? Get real with yourself. And be as specific as possible.
Discover the emotions behind those beliefs.
Ok, so now it’s time to figure out what emotions you associate with your beautiful roadmap. See that list you created of all those physical things you believe are the key secrets for how to be beautiful? What do each of those things mean to you emotionally? Does a thin body mean a sense of being controlled and connected to yourself? Do you think long hair is feminine and that’s why it is beautiful? Understanding what emotions each of those physical traits brings up is super important – it helps you understand the emotional road map for learning how to feel beautiful. So for each physical trait, cross it out and redefine it with an emotional trait that you most connect it with. (There are some tips in the worksheet below)
Create a new strategy for how to feel beautiful.
Okay coolness.. Now comes my favorite part for learning how to feel beautiful: The moment when you start to actually CHANGE your view on what it means! Now that you have all those sexy ass emotions listed out on a piece of paper, it’s time to discover new extra ways to create that feeling in your life. So you thought long hair was feminine ? What other ways can you feel feminine? If you thought feeling thin gave you a sense of strength or empowerment, what other things can you do each day to feel that way? Get my point? See where this is going?
Now go get the free worksheet for creating your own Beauty Roadmap and learning how to feel beautiful for realz yo!
What is Perfection is the Self Improvement blog for the imperfect girl everywhere. Learn to find happiness, feel beautiful, and be confident in who you are. We all deserve to be happy, and we all deserve to be the best version of us. And we all are truly capable of getting there. Because Perfection Is Impossible. Happiness isn’t. See The Self Improvement E-Guide Collection For Your Life Coaching Guides to Change Your Life Today!