The Brand New Me online course starts in FOUR days…
And it has me thinking about my own journey to self-love..the moment I made a decision to change my life….
Trust me… it wasn’t a small project. I was financially bankrupt, finally out of an unhealthy relationship, lost on my own for the first time, about 60 pounds over weight and so super fed up with every area of my life.
I knew I deserved better and that life wasn’t supposed to be something you “just settled for.” So I decided I was going to do everything in my damn power to create the life I truly deserved. A life that made me HAPPY. A life that I could feel appreciative of and love, and take pride in.
That meant I needed to do a lot of changing inside myself.
I had to overcome a lot of limiting beliefs…. stop feeling like a failure, insecure, and worthless and start taking massive action. I needed to let go of letting other people control my destiny – what they thought of me and what they labeled me as in my life. I had to discover the tools for changing my emotional state in an instant, start growing my confidence and stop constantly failing my goals over and over and over again.
Basically I had A LOT to learn. And yes, in the beginning all of the things I wanted felt impossible.
Confidence. Happiness. Full self-love. Healthy relationships. True Love. A stable non chaotic life. A body I was proud of. A healthy lifestyle I enjoyed.
Guess what. I got all of it. It happened. For REAL.
If you are the WIP Girl out there who is still struggling to change her life… the girl who can’t feel good about herself.. the girl who knows she deserves better but can’t figure out HOW to make that change happen…
Get off the hamster wheel gorgeous girl. Make a decision that you deserve better for yourself. Stop setting and start striving. Set your goals and get clear about EXACTLY what you want. And then put on your super girl costume and freaking fight for it girl!
1.Decide you deserve better then the way you have been living.
2. Start believing that you *and only you* have the power to change this.
3. Take massive massive action to create your dream life.
The Brand New Me six week online course is starting in four days.. our girls are prepping and preparing for their amazing journeys – setting goals and visualizing what they want to change about their lives….
And there is still time left to enroll.
Everything about this course is focused on showing you how to drastically transform your life, find self confidence and be the version of you that you have been longing to be.
If you read my story about where I was prior to being a life coach and the leader of What is Perfection and the WIP Girl community, you know that my life was a rock bottom rollercoaster disaster. Drugs, Abuse, Eating disorders, Financial disasters, suicide attempts. ALL of it is in my “before WIP resume.”
But guess what? That is NOT me any more. I stopped failing myself years ago. And four years later I have put everything I know into this six week program to help catapult you into that amazing beautiful life you deserve.
There are still 4 Days left to enroll in the Brand New Me Six week online course.
And if you are that girl out there struggling to finally be that version of yourself that you know is in there… go fight for her.
Because remember: Where you are, is NOT where you have to be.
Secret time: I am building a self-improvement manifesto. Yes…I know… crazy me. As if I don’t have enough to do already. I have such a big to-do list right no for WIP- running the Facebook group, launching the youtube channel and the podcast (See 1 | 2| 3 | If you’re interested.) Not to mention the Brand New me Course goes live in five days! But yes.. I am gathering all the best most strongest self improvement tips and putting them into a book.
Let me tell you, it’s going to be a really really big resource by the time I am done. And I am so excited that I’ve been taking the time to really get clear about these strategies and self improvement tools I use in my coaching practice. It is helping me feel inspired and motivated to keep serving all you awesome ladies out there! Plus, it’s letting me perfect my expertise, allows me to be a better life coach and do what I love doing the best to my ability!
I have too many tricks up my sleeve that sometimes I get bogged down trying to figure out what to share on a regular basis. There are so many life experiences that have shaped the lessons I share with my clients – and I am constantly learning more each and every day.
So in breaking it down for my own research, I decided it was time to share the five most vital powerful lessons that drastically shaped my life.
These were the biggest game changing mindsets that transformed my happiness and my confidence, how I live, how I feel, and the person I am.
Ready for me to share? AHH YAY! GOOD! Because that’s what this post is all about!
The 5 Most Valuable Life Lessons for Happiness
-Putting yourself first is not selfish. It’s sanity.
A lot of women have this belief that they need to continuously be something for other people before they can be something for themselves. I’m including myself when I talk about this type of thinking. See, I grew up with a very loving and selfless mother. To this day she is constantly putting others before herself. She is an amazing wonderful nurturing woman, and I love her to death – but her way of living was not something that came natural to me. It felt like I was suffering when I lived life constant trying to put myself and my needs on the back burner. Adapting this mindset didn’t bring me any joy in my life growing up, but for a long time, I felt like this was something I needed to “make work” in my life. I needed to put other people before me. I needed to try to make the best decisions for other people – because after all, that is what my learned behavior was in life!
Making decisions based on other people’s needs is wrong. And putting yourself first, while some may call it selfish, is actually the best most powerful thing you can do for your happiness. If I’m too tired to go to a party, I won’t go. If I need a vacation day, I call out sick. If I feel like I need a break form the chores and household responsibilities, I am open and honest with my partner about needing a time out. The truth is, you cannot be your best for other people, if you are not the best for yourself first.
It took me a long time, but now when I make decisions, I 100 percent make them based on how they make ME feel… not how I think they will make others feel. It’s my life. And if you’re reading this – it’s your life ….do don’t let someone else dictate it.
-What you resist continues to persist.
Constantly thinking about avoiding money troubles only brings more money troubles. Feeling like you don’t want to live a life of scarcity only makes you feel more empty. Continuously trying to avoid looking at the scale when you struggle with your weight and body image only makes you feel more disconnected and stuck in your unhealthy lifestyle. If you want to fix something, you need to face it. You need to analyze it. You need to see the truth for what it really is and then take massive action to change it.
Whether it is your unhealthy relationship, your unhealthy eating habits, or your awkward relationship with money – if you want to make something better – you need to look it in the face for the big scary monster it is and DO something about it.
-The best thing you can do for yourself is invest in your future.
I’m not talking about going back to school. And no, I am not talking about buying that new sexy car that lets you get from point a to point b with confidence. I am talking about PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT. It is the greatest most powerful tool that to this day is still at the top of my tool box. Growing and bettering myself is my number one priority in life, and if you are trying to live a happier more fulfilling future – then you got to up your rank on where you value that in your own life.
I see so many women unhappy and stuck in their lives – frustrated by their unhealthy relationships, their lack of self confidence, or their inability to feel financially abundant…. Why do they feel this way? Well because they are stuck. And they need help letting go of their limiting beliefs… much like I needed to way back when before I became a life coach. But the only way to do that is by investing in your worth.
I’ve maxed out credit cards to pay for self improvement seminars… I have spent my last hard earned dollar on crazy Barnes and Noble self help book binges… I have even withdrawn money from my 401k to invest in making my life better. Do I regret any of those purchase? HELL TO THE NO. They were actually the best decisions I made for my life. Sometimes adding to your debt (if it’s to make you a better more amazing person) drastically changes your financial situation in the long run *yes.. for the better.*
-Take risks. Take risks. Take risks. (Do you hear me?)
I have never in my life taken a risk that didn’t scare me. That’s why we use that big scary R word to call it what it is: A super scary chance on something that we have no idea what the outcome will be. Financial risks, relationship risks, moving risks, career risks, they are THE BEST MOST WONDERFUL opportunities from the universe if you take them.
When your gut is telling you to do something different – it is because you are probably settling for less than you deserve. And in order to get out of that life, you need to take what my friend Jen calls “big messy scary action.” Seriously… take it. Do it. A leap of faith is the most beautiful thing in the world because that’s when the real you come out.
-An unfulfilling life is not worth living.
I’ll leave it at that. Don’t kill yourself… just go fucking do something about it.
You deserve THE BEST.
Don’t forget to join the Facebook group!
Rock bottom is the shittiest place to be.
And I guess, like most of us, I’ve hit it a few times in my life.
Before I was the “What is Perfection” girl, I was actually, the “What the heck is wrong with her” girl.
Because seriously, I was super miserable in my life.
It was so bad, that in 2009 I attempted suicide.
My abusive boyfriend had pushed me over the edge. I had enough.
And I wanted to give up on my life.
So I grabbed a bottle of pills. The next thing I knew,
I was waking up in the hospital with a second chance.
I struggled for a really long time after that.
I knew in my heart that I didn’t want live my life unhappy and insecure.
And I knew there was more to living than hating life. I just had no idea how to change it.
“Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.”
But sometimes, it takes you a long time to learn them. Sometimes rockbottom happens a few times before your life can change.
In 2008 – I tried to kill myself.
In 2009 I spent the year in and out of psychiatric wards,
struggling with a drug addiction and suicidal thoughts.
I spent 2010 heavily medicated trying to numb the pain
and the fact that my husband was lying, cheating and using drugs.
in 2011, we went bankrupt.
Financially and emotionally broke.–
I HIT ROCK BOTTOM. AGAIN.
So 2012 I decided to make a change.
I decided I was going to be a
BRAND NEW ME.
The moment I made that decision,
Everything about my nightmare life changed.
-I stopped living at rock bottom.
-I landed my dream job.
-I left my unhappy marriage.
-Found true love.
-I bought a house.
-I got engaged.
-I kicked my addictions.
-I beat my eating disorder.
-I went off medication.
-I ran my first half marathon.
-I lost 60 pounds and took my first vacation.
I found true happiness.
Yes. All of those things happened to me. And they can happen to you too.
Because rockbottom is not permanent. Pain is temporary and all those silly cliches are actually sort of true.
The minute you make a decision to change your life, you can actually change it.
When you make that decision is entirely up to you.
Yes I completely transformed my life.
But it didn’t happen by accident.
It happened with hard work, determination, and endless endless drive to be the person I deserved and wanted to be.
I finally took a stand that year in 2012 when I hit rock bottom.
“The way you have been living is NOT you. YOU deserve BETTER.”
And I realized no one was going to hand me “better.” I needed to go out and fight for it.
If you are ready to fight for your life – don’t wait to go out and create it.
Stop hating yourself… start healing yourself.
I love you, believe in you, and want you to know, whatever you want,
you deserve it.
What I want in life has changed over the years.
I used to believe that I wanted the Perfect body, and the perfect job, with the perfect husband and the perfect amount of money etc. etc.
Now what I want is far more complicated and less “physical” for my life. Far less “perfect.”
And ever since I have changed my approach – to go from wanting “things” to wanting “emotional fulfillment,” so much of my life has actually changed.
So here’s a free flow of thoughts today.
On the topic of wanting, wishing, doing, and believing.
I don’t really want to be successful, because by everyone else’s standards, success means making tons of money but living and breathing your job. And I don’t want to do that.
I want to be successful because I promote change, do something that is fulfilling, and feel a passion directly related to my work.
I used to want to be well liked and approved of by others.
Now, I just want to be myself. And that’s what I do. And when I am myself, I find wonderful people to fill my life with. It is amazing.
I don’t want to have the perfect body. I just want to feel beautiful and connected to who I am in my life. Feeling connected is what makes me feel beautiful.
I don’t want to impress the world, but rather, feel proud and accomplished within myself.
Wrong people don’t hurt me. Wrong decisions don’t affect me. Wrong impressions don’t upset me.
I am me. And it doesn’t matter what the world around me thinks of it.
Self Worth is the key to living any happy life. When you don’t feel good about yourself, life pretty much sucks, am I right? Feeling happy is darn difficult when you feel worthless. Feeling confident is basically impossible when you don’t love yourself. And appreciating all the great things life has to offer is simply a day dream when you don’t like the person you are. But wait…
What is Self Worth Anyway?
Basically, for all the insecure girls out there, Self Worth is defined as: “the sense of one’s own value or worth as a person.” But I think if you are reading this article, you can probably identify with all the things that self worth ISN’T. Rather than what it is. Here’s how to tell if you don’t have self worth:
Warning Signs You Need to Love Yourself More:
You let other people take advantage of you.
You constantly feel like you aren’t good enough.
You compare yourself to other people.
You fear failure, because you think you never achieve anything.
You don’t believe you are good enough for “good things.”
You feel insecure.
You don’t speak up about how you feel.
You are scared of being alone.
You don’t walk away from people who hurt you.
Basically.. you live life stuck, insecure, and feeling scared.
That is what a LACK of Self Worth is.
And if you’re trying to fix those things, lucky for you, you are in the right place.
Having little self worth totally F*’s up your life girl.
If you’re stumbling on this website for the first time and don’t know anything about me or What is Perfection, let just tell you little bit about what this website is. Because it’s ALL About self worth girl. WIP is a place where I teach women how to rebuild their self confidence and create happy beautiful versions of themselves.. because I know EXACTLY what it is like to live life feeling insecure. and it SUCKS. (you should join the free community for my free self improvement tools P.S.)
Because years ago I WAS THAT GIRL – struggling to feel good, without self worth and completely turning my life upside down trying to feel happy and confident.
I WAS LOOKING FOR LOVE IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES. AND DOING ALL THE WRONG THINGS TO GET IT.
I dated assholes to feel loved. I developed an eating disorder to get the perfect body. I coped with serious depression, suicidal thoughts because I felt like I was never good enough. Yup. Self worth – zero. That was me. Because I deeply loathed myself, I was constantly trying to change who I was in order to feel better. It never worked. (Lucky for you, I actually became a self-loving CHAMP!…. and I’ll show you how to be one too!)
But in case you are interested, read more about me here:
My Eating Disorder Journey
Being A Rape Victim
The Full About Me Page
HOW TO BUILD YOUR SELF WORTH
Learn how to enjoy being alone.
When I didn’t have self worth, I was so scared of being alone. I needed a partner, and I needed to be around friends 24/7. It wasn’t because I was a social person who enjoyed that (even though I do today,) It was because I didn’t really love myself enough to want to spend time with just me! Learning how to be alone with yourself is a scary thing in the beginning. It’s like you are almost spending time with a stranger. But taking baby steps into being independent will help. Slowly, overtime, the more one on one time you get with yourself, the more you will learn about who you are and what makes you wonderful.
Get rid of the labels you put on yourself.
I’ve been through a lot in my life… a lot of bad, not so fun things. For a long time I thought all of those bad things defined me in a “tarnished” way. I was “the girl who was raped,” or “the girl who married a guy who turned out to be a drug dealer.” or the suicidal depressed girl etc. etc. and all those other bad things I’ve been through. I actually carried those labels around with me for a LONG LONG time.
But that was a big problem.
Because when I lived my life thinking I was JUST those things, I was miserable. You may feel this way too. maybe you struggle with your weight and have branded yourself as “the fat girl” or maybe you were “the slut” in high school and you were so bullied about it that you can’t seem to let go of that image. Whatever it is, the labels you put on yourself based on the past experiences you’ve had actually prevent you from being a confident happy person.
You can’t move forward and grow when you are so stuck on the person you once were. Make a list of all those labels and throw them out the window girl. Start asking yourself “who do I want to be” and be that person instead.
Focus on what makes you happy, not on what impresses people.
Yes, for a long time I lived for OTHER people. I picked a career that impressed my parents. I wore clothes because they were “in fashion.” I didn’t pursue passions or hobbies because other people thought they were stupid or not important. And a while back, I actually stayed in a really unhealthy relationship way longer than I should have because I was so worried about disappointing my family. This is a key lesson in self confidence. You need to stop worrying about the rest of the world and build your self worth by focusing on your own happiness. You can check out this post on how to stop caring what other people think if you need help on this one (there’s a free E-guide there for ya)
Start believing that maybe you actually deserve better than the way you have been living.
No one ever taught me how to feel good about myself growing up… In school, they never really teach you how to establish a solid self image. Self Worth really isn’t a part of the school curriculum. And few parents teach their children how to be confident and self loving. We think those qualities are “selfish” am I right?
No. No they aren’t. So it’s time to start thinking differently about self love. And if you are unhappy with your life, then maybe it’s time to reflect and ask yourself, “Am I living based on false beliefs about what happiness is?”
Get rid of your old unhealthy beliefs.
If you believe that you need to lose weight to feel beautiful – there is a problem here.
Do you need to feel important to other people or get noticed by other people to feel good? Why?
If you picked your career because your parents told you that you would make a lot of money – you won’t feel successful. EVER.
Think that your husband is the only person who will ever love you so you don’t walk away from the relationship?
Do you feel like you can’t be yourself because other people won’t like who you are?
Or maybe you are constantly comparing yourself to other people – trying to be as beautiful or as thin or successful as they are.
It’s time to stop.
This learned-behavior is WRONG. It isn’t serving you.
Let’s break that habit and start redefining our self worth.
By teaching ourselves a new way of living.
-STOP TRYING TO IMPRESS OTHER PEOPLE. START LIVING FOR WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD.
-DON’T MAKE DECISION FOR YOUR LIFE BASED ON OTHER PEOPLE’S OPINIONS. ASK YOURSELF “WHAT DO I THINK? WHAT DO I WANT?
-AND DON’T BELIEVE THAT YOU NEED SOMEONE TO LOVE YOU IN ORDER TO FEEL LOVE.
-FORGET THE PERFECTION STANDARDS SOCIETY HAS CRAFTED FOR BEAUTY. MAKE YOUR OWN.
-EDUCATE YOURSELF ON SELF LOVE AND SELF WORTH.
-PRIORITIZE YOURSELF AND RAISE YOUR STANDARDS FOR LIVING.
-BECOME A PERSON YOU ARE PROUD OF – NOT A PERSON OTHER PEOPLE ARE PROUD TO BE AROUND.
START MAKING MORE DECISIONS. STOP SECOND GUESSING YOURSELF.
HOW I FOUND SELF WORTH
So, when I perfected the art of fulfillment, and developed the Perfection Program 30 Day Course based on those principles, so much of my life changed. And over time, something happen inside me.. I felt lighter.. more at peace. And suddenly I felt happier.
I found a new sense of confidence in my ability to make decisions for myself. And I started making more of them.
Following my heart to self love, led me to even more self love. Because I make decisions for my life based on ME. And I actually started making better decisions. Decisions that made me proud. These are the choices that make me feel like I am in control of my life and my future. And there is nothing worth more than that.
And suddenly I was actually in control of my future, my emotions, and my happiness! Legit EVERYTHING about my life changed.
I went on an insane 5 year self love journey. And discovered What is Perfection LLC. Changing myself was never the answer to finding self worth. It was all about changing what I was looking for. And it was within me the whole time.
Yes, the Self Worth Discovery: Is within you too.
If you feel ready to find that self love and make a change for your life, check out the Perfection Program 30 Day Course and make it happen!
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What is Perfection is the Self Improvement blog for the imperfect girl everywhere. Learn to find happiness, feel beautiful, and be confident in who you are. We all deserve to be happy, and we all deserve to be the best version of us. And we all are truly capable of getting there. Because Perfection Is Impossible. Happiness isn’t. See The Self Improvement E-Guide Collection For Your Life Coaching Guides to Change Your Life Today!
Hey hey gorgeous girl. Need a little confidence boost lately? Good thing you’re here.. because I want to tell you all about the FREE 5 Day Self Love Jumpstart. I made it for all you WIPGIRLS out there looking to feel a little happier. It’s a free awesome Five Day Program to help you set new goals, revamp your life, and make some big awesome changes (well… 5 days worth)
HERE’S HOW IT WORKS:
In five day’s you’ll start
building self confidence
setting new goals
feeling a little happier
and even a bit more determined too.
plus it’s FREE yo.
So why not give it a try!
HOW TO GET THE FIVE DAY JUMP START
If you’re already a WIP GIRL, then you should have received an email with all the deets.
(let me know if you didn’t by contacting me here in the group)
IF YOU AREN’T A WIP GIRL YET.
IT’S FREE. YUP.
Once you create an account I’ll send you all the details.
SO GO AHEAD! GET STARTED!