I used to be the girl who tried to always feel happy. Now I actually don’t have to try at it. Surprised? It just comes naturally! Boom. Bingo. Success. Sure I have my off days like anyone else, but I have completely rid my life of all the self loathing and unhappiness that used to weigh me down.
It took me a really long time to become the person I am today. Going from insecure and unhappy to confident and fulfilled didn’t happen over night. Just like any other learned habit, it took time, practice, and a solid education about the art of self love. (see my online courses.)
When you are constantly trying to be happy, it seems like such a struggle doesn’t it? It’s hard to appreciate joy in your life when it feels like such a fleeting thing. Now I don’t effort it as much. Being happy is just something that comes naturally to me. And no I didn’t take a bunch of magic pills to make it happen. No fairy god mother tricks, no hocus pocus. It’s actually really easy to transform your emotional life. And I did it by learning self love practices.
I often get asked what of all the things I teach in my courses is the most valuable. The answer – the art of acceptance. Learning how to shift your mind set to stop worrying about the things you can’t control and start focusing on actually making a difference in your own life.
So today I thought I’d take some time to share that content with you. It’s part of the Brand New Me course that goes live January 1.
Learning the art of acceptance is by far the best thing you can do for your happiness. But it is also the hardest.
5 Things You Need to Accept that Actually Make You Happier
You cannot change your family.
I love my family. But when I was trying to continuously get their approval and understanding about my life choices, I was miserable. When I was constantly trying to get them to like or agree with my opinions, I was never happy. There is something wonderful about learning to not give a F*** about what they think of your decisions in life. Surprised I’m being so harsh? Here’s the thing – when I stopped trying to get my family to approve of me, I actually was able to love them more! Learning to let go of what my parents think or whether or not my sisters are approving of my life choices actually allows me to embrace their love even more. Because then our relationships are not based on me trying to mold myself into something they want or need – rather our relationships become an open honest exchange of love and acceptance.
You will never get the world to approve of your choices.
When I look back and think about all the choices I made for my life based on other people, I kind of feel sick in my tummy. I picked a career to impress my parents. I turned away relationships because they weren’t good for my self image. I even turned away certain things I enjoyed doing because they weren’t “cool,” to the people I wanted to impress. There comes a point where you need to throw all of that out the window – especially as an adult. The minute I realized – “hey, I don’t care what other people think,” that was the minute everything changed for me and my life.
Mistakes happen and they are amazing.
I used to live so super fearful of mistakes. And even now it creeps into my personality on occasion. Like the other day when Matt and I were shopping for cleaning supplies for our new home – I became obsessed over the decision of picking the “perfect mop.” I spent 20 minutes in the cleaning isle making sure I made the right choice. It was a big WTF moment for me. Why are we so scared of making the wrong decisions in life? Decisions are AMAZING! Even when they aren’t exactly perfect! Every time we make a choice for ourselves, we are creating an opportunity for growth. If it’s the right decision – awesome, we grow with it. If it’s the wrong decision, boom. We learn from it. And we make a better decision next time.
Nothing is ever permanent.
Yup. It’s the truth. Money problems. Relationship problems. Health issues. You have the power to change absolutely everything in your life. All you have to do is make a decision – decide that from here on out you aren’t going to settle for things. Recognizing you are strong enough to move past whatever it is you are going through: That is when massive beautiful confident happy change happens. So get there. Realize that nothing is ever permeant and fight to let go and move forward.
You are the only one who needs to be happy with your life.
Case and point. F other people who don’t agree. F the approval. F the acceptance. Just be YOU!
I wrote this crazy post in the Facebook group yesterday about being a Unicorn that just reminds me of this concept here. Did you see it?
The unicorn did not become cool by trying to fit in. She became cool by dealing with you when you were seven and decided you were “too cool” to like her. And then years later, she became cool when you were an adult. And suddenly it became a trend to be a unicorn. BUT SHE WAS ALWAYS COOOL. SHE WAS A UNICORN THE WHOLE TIME. NOTHING HAS CHANGED. The point? Go be a unicorn. Let people hate you, think you are weird, make fun of you for standing out… Years later.. they’ll come back Super obsessed with your confident unique unicorn self.
Did you join the Facebook group? I hope you did! There’s a bunch of free awesome stuff in there!